Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML
Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML
Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML
Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML
Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML
Today, I was literally taking care of my coworker's garbage. Piss was dumped on me as I lifted the Herbie Kirby to the larger dumpster. What the fuck, people? Don’t literally leave your waste for others to take care of. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
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Top comments
emmiep1011 7
try a toilet next time?
nekros_fml 5
what are you doing taking a dump behind a dumpster? Were you born in a barn?
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Comments (370)
grant1023 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sorry
Baby_Stewie 3
**** you
mustardhippo 4
And why where you ******** behind a dumpster and not in a toilet?
quadder 0
1 and 11 comments fail
NastyNinja31 0
a dump behind a dumpster.. Makes since
Keyman1212 14
I'm guessing you posted this from a public library computer seeing as you MUST be homeless. Why don't you shit in the library's toilet?
Friaza 29
YDI for doing your business in public.
daisyloo 7
Good one.
margie2194 12
Scat ****?
Laurenlou 24
Dudes he is obviously a hipster! Toilets are WAY to main-stream to take a dump in! Gosh, everyone goes along with the crowd.
HolyHandGrenade 4
Bear Grylls obviously was pretending to be homeless for a new episode of Man v. Wild.
FarSide 23
So the dumpers took pictures of the dumpee, as the dumpee took a dump next to the dumpster? Your an inconsiderate nasty ass. Next time take your dump IN the dumpster. No body wants to see your shit.
mustardhippo 4
36 but then he'd get hungry and eat his own shit. It's bear grylls!
mustardhippo 4
36 but then he'd get hungry and eat his own shit. It's bear grylls!
HolyHandGrenade 4
43- Nah, he'd kill one of the garbage men and eat him.
HolyHandGrenade 4
43- Nah, he'd kill one of the garbage men and eat him.
guitgod1 11
dump-ception
Nanall 15
No link to a YouTube video? :/
MrSassypants 34
#42 if OP took a dummp in the dumpster it would make for a better FML story seeing as the garbage men would lift it into the dump truck. :D
rixxy24 0
sooo smelly are the homeless I know I was 4 a decade. I NEVER SHIT OUTSIDE ITS NOT NECESSARY urgh but warm
jake1632 9
"Heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster" after that I think OP changed the story.
Maximus_Axiom 7
lol ydi for doing it in public there was probably a place close enought to take a shit
BADDiam 4
A hobo with an internet?
Kolden 11
Been there man, been there.
tjv3 10
that's just gross I guess your momma didnt raise you with any sense or respect
JustHello123 1
haha this FML cracks me up!
humorizer 14
Apparently, the OP mistook the term "DUMPster" as a literal term.
issoz 10
Shit happens.
nahgemsoohc 0
20- no he probably stole someones iPhone and used the app inside it to submit this fml
rulerofwow 0
might work better for you if you try a normal bathroom like... idk normal people.
SecretlyEvil9792 22
Why the hell would you take a dump behind the dumpster?
affamigo13 1
This is ment for number 42: Ya, so wen he takes a dump IN the dumpster, and the dumpster gets thrown into to the garbage truck, he can get thrown in there too
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
88 Who'd want to watch that anyway? Disgusting!
emmiep1011 7
try a toilet next time?
rayrayray23 1
Maybe he couldn't get to one?
FarSide 23
300,000,000 people in this Country manage to take a shit into a crapper every day. NO EXCUSES.
sickjairo 7
With what did you wipe after?
flockz 20
maybe he doesnt like the splash of water on his ass a good ol' fashioned shit makes. maybe he likes his ass dry as a desert and if his ass were to be splashed, it would be like a witch from the wizard of oz. now he must face the choice of ******** behind a dumpster and being ridiculed, or lose his ass completely as it shrinks to nothing and smokes as if it were a new plate of fajitas. good job.
Dispute 3
well it's called a DUMPster for a reason...
flockz 20
the mere thought of diarhea must make his ass flaps cringe.
xexu13 3
r u french? nice **** bitch get a nose job though then give me a blow-job ok?
flockz 20
102- how long does it take u to get modded?
WellThatSucksMaj 0
Deuces ;)
tr3vst3r 5
jk
tr3vst3r 5
jk
tr3vst3r 5
jk
Jvr91 8
It took me the first sentence to decide ydi
gruvychild 17
That's what I was wondering!!
NeonBluee 8
I would rather shit my pants while I'm running towards the bathroom then behind a dumpster any day. Who cares, I get to buy a new pair of pants :)
gbreck 0
I voted YDI the moment I read "I was taking a dump behind a dumpster"... WTF op. just WTF
redneckte89 3
hey
eminemchick 19
205 trying out the fun "add a comment" button i see?
Laurenlou 24
148- Either you copied my reply to the first comment, or this is all one HUGE coincidence! xD
toastyjustice 5
65, you wipe with the money that the kid age you to buy smokes
cupcakesnpot 9
why does everyone always put thumbs down? even on the good comments... I think it's a waste of a button! sorry I have nothing to say about your comments or OP stupidity.
crazy17balls 0
good point#65
itsharkley 8
I think ZoP is now... the Dumpster. lol
jake3292 5
227 he took it:)
travis123576 0
I'm messaging you haha
smashingdiscover 0
Hahah that sucks
Laughing_Cow 0
Too bad it's fake
Laughing_Cow 0
That Can't be true
TeeHee124 0
please, enlighten me. At what point did that seem like a good idea?
shovels 0
261, some people get a weird thrill by doing stuff like that.
chaosdragn16 2
I gotta do it since no one else is yet... But this Seems like a shitty situation.
mustardhippo 4
Well shit, that's garbage
nekros_fml 5
what are you doing taking a dump behind a dumpster? Were you born in a barn?
GreenMuzz 0
There arent dumpsters in barns
mustardhippo 4
Jesus was born in a barn. And dumpsters didn't exist then :P
icyfire617 10
Hobos. Gotta love em.
steph87_fml 0
Um... Nice fangs........
zukinihudini 0
DUMPster
jneville 5
Acton Ontario? Lame!!!
Laughing_Cow 0
What's a hobo doing wasting his time on this app?!?! Get a job!
Peacewind 0
Yes this is clearly Jesus ******** behind some dumpster in Maryland.
Cokie_the_Clown 5
I agree. Why the hell did you feel the urge to take a dump behind a dumpster? If you really wanted to take a shit in public, you could have done it in a more secluded area like a bush in a forest. Or, you could have been like everyone else and shit in a toilet.
EmilyJoSmyth 4
Maybe he was just too munted(severly drunk for those who don't know) to reach a toilet in time. Yaknow how it is, when you gotta go you gotta go.
nekros_fml 5
um... thanks :)
toddlesscott 0
You gotta go, you gotta go.
Missiy10 0
Why where u taking a dump behind a trashcan????
A7X_LoVeee 10
He's poor.
sakforduc 0
with access to twitter? lol
sakforduc 0
I mean FML. wow talk about a brain fart!
haydenbro03 4
hey 6, shut the **** up.
intothecrypt 3
265, it was funny the first time. That sucked.
DavLynn 4
you couldn't find somewhere less public? or maybe a toilet?
halofan48 0
In OP's mind, he's thinking “shit no toilet paper”
asia3pea90 13
Obviously he couldn't if he had to do it there...
peacelovehappine_fml 0
what is wrong with using a toilet!?!?!?
llama123 0
that's what public bathrooms r for
remfire 0
dumbass!
BaconDave 12
Whats wrong with your pants?
joefrazier 20
that is too funny