Today, I have to go to the dentist to get a tooth capped. Why? Because my room mate knows I sleepwalk and thought it would be funny to put a trip wire across the top of the stairs. It worked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML
Today, I found out I sleepwalk. How you might ask? By awakening the moment just before I fell from the stairs. I was better off sleeping. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML
Today, I was staying at my friend's house, which is next door. Our houses are the same layout, only mirrored, so tonight when I got out of bed in the dark, I instinctively turned to my left, thinking I was entering the bathroom, and fell down the stairs. Three of my teeth are missing. FML
Today, it's my wedding day. I broke a toe on the couch while turning on the lights in the hotel room. FML
Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML
Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML
Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML
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Top comments
hk_fml 9
wtf. You couldve gotten seriously hurt D:
alexandraa_fml 0
Bahaha, maybe he'll saran wrap the door frame next time? Oh the vast amount of pranks that could be pulled!
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Comments (71)
Ninjaface 0
Your roommate is an idiot for thinking that's funny. The following are much funnier (hint hint): 1. Saran wrapping him into his bed. 2. Going on his computer and replacing the last paragraph of the paper he's about to email with the "Never Gonna Give You Up" video. 3. Replacing his green tea ice cream with wasabi while he's on the bathroom.
akiranozaki 0
If I were you, I'd make him pay for the bill. FYL indeed.
ashiezorz 2
Ahhh **** man. So you guys are totally best friends, I see.
Pikachu206 2
Man that sticks. You should get your roomie to pay for it.
popatia 0
sticks?
fegd 0
I'd sue that roommate. That's horrible.
GreenAlbatross 3
I've heard of a few ways to stop sleepwalking: 1. Check your diet. You could be eating something with weird side effects. 2. Try tying something really heavy to your foot so that you can't walk when it's there. But tie it in such a way that if there is an emergency, you can get it off quickly. 3. Move your bed so that one side is against the wall and try to sleep on your side facing that wall. If none of this works, I suggest getting your roommate to eat a crapton of chili and put vaseline on his doorknob and the bathroom doorknob. And you might want to leave a mop and bucket next to his door.
medfly 2
it might sound incredible, but many people do very complex actions (cooking, eating... having sex) while sleepwalking. it is possible that he can remove the restraints he put on himself while still asleep. I personally think he should see a doctor or a sleep clinic for help and get another roommate.
GreenAlbatross 3
A combination lock would be the best. REM sleep shuts off the part of the brain concerning specific functional memory. You can remember how to repeat familiar actions, but not recall specific numbers or random dexterous movements. (just spin the tumblers all over the place without looking)
gev 0
sue indeed, possibly file attempted manslaughter or murder charges. WTF.
benrutschilling 0
dentists ftl
dogfood_fml 3
Make him pay the bill!
skyeyez9 25
he could have killed you.