Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, six days before I turn 18, my mom totaled her nice BMW. She had promised it to me as a birthday present. My step-dad is giving me his old rusty truck instead, so now I can look like a hick. FML
Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML
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Top comments
skierguy 0
I don't really see what the importance of the "I'm twenty" part is. That would be embarrassing at any age, but by twenty I should think your mom would be OK with you having sex and drinking. If you were 16 that might be a different story.
ambrz 0
Then I'm 20 is important because the drinking age in America is 21 lol
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Comments (178)
skierguy 0
#28, he'd probably assume that because a very large proportion of the people on this site are Americans, and because there would be no reason to say "I'm twenty" if the drinking age was anything else.
teh_ass 0
YDI for being a moron and a lazy slob. Get out.
Wonka_fml 0
#16 - I agree. What is the problem? It might be a problem if you're 16 years old. #17 - Have you heard of sobriety test, breathalyzers, and blood test? #19 - Kick his ass out of the house? Female or male? What country are you from? The answers to these questions might make a difference.
Jaxro 6
#32 having open liquor within arms reach of the driver is illegal. Empty = Opened. I don't see why parents get in a big hype if their kids are sexually active. They are gunna find out anyways, why hide it.
Corvettechick 0
Wow you're 20 and your mom needs to borrow your car. Your family sucks I imagine you probably own a V6, get a GT, if you're too poor, get a job. God I hate jews like you. And to the ****** ****** that said mustangs aren't real sports cars,you're an idiot. Corvette = sports car, mustangs/camaros= pony cars run by my turbo'd 05 GT and see what happens if you're not in a built motor or a modded LS7.
marcusaurelius 0
That is why I never let my parents borrow my car...
woahcomments 0
HAHAHAHA 22! So true!
digapygmy 0
If your mom gives your car away, can I have it?
Frankie27 0
A breathalizer won't matter if you have any sort of alcohol, opened or unopened, anywhere other than the trunk of your car. They don't give a shit if you've been drinking it, they don't want the possibility of you drinking it while driving. ...unless this is different in other parts of the U.S., but this is what I was taught.
gleidu77 0
i agree with #26. the fact that your car is a mustang is so irrelevant lol also, this seems so retarded that it makes me think it may be fake. i could see leaving the wrappers and packaging and stuff in the backseat or on the floor of your car and forgetting it there by accident, but first of all, who puts all that stuff in the FRONT SEAT of their car? and second of all, if you did, you'd see it all when you were getting out of your car and would remove it. so i'm thinking you're just some 20-year-old virgin kid who isn't loaded and wishes they owned their own mustang that they could have sex in all the time, and making this fml makes you feel better about yourself somehow.