Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, six days before I turn 18, my mom totaled her nice BMW. She had promised it to me as a birthday present. My step-dad is giving me his old rusty truck instead, so now I can look like a hick. FML
Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
skierguy 0
I don't really see what the importance of the "I'm twenty" part is. That would be embarrassing at any age, but by twenty I should think your mom would be OK with you having sex and drinking. If you were 16 that might be a different story.
ambrz 0
Then I'm 20 is important because the drinking age in America is 21 lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (178)
adam10_fml 0
fake
Pettlez 0
I agree with skierguy about not seeing the point in saying "i'm 20" also none cares what car you have... just get to your point sooner next time.
NoKo_fml 0
ive never seen so many jealous idiots in one thread....the reason this person mentioned "mustang" is to oviously show off, and he/she has all the right to do so being that a mustang is a ******* sexy car (: also this isnt a fml, think of it this way..u have a nice car, u obviously get laid..seeing how u can afford a sports car and the high insurance that comes with it im guessing ur financially stable, and nothing wrong with living with ur parents..at age 20 ur still suppose to be in school (university/college duh) so obviously u need support of ur parents. dont listen to these jealous retards, keep having fun. just dont know what ur gonna explain to ur parents about the rum and sex toys.
babydoll86_fml 0
You're 20. So who gives a shit if you have sex and drink? Seriously.
snoopy24_fml 0
#81, not everyone who lives in america are conservative religious nuts.
ShamCross 0
Seeing as one in four people have an STD, sleeping around probably isn't a good idea. That's a 25% chance of getting a gift that keeps on giving.
Shadefall 0
#73 - Not retarded, just a Jesus lover. ;P Though some may consider those two to go hand in hand... >.> Sorry that happened to ya, though. XD I was driving my mom around once and realised Id left a condom in the car, had to quickly hide it. Im 19, but it wouldnt have stopped her conservative, catholic self from curb stomping me.
Juniorlucero 0
Damn yo now that's some shit LOL
Osakhomen 0
Your fault... ALWAYS throw away stuff that could be embarassing or ILLEGAL when your done using it... or hide it well if your not done with it... But if you're mom is anything like my mom, even if you hide it your car, she'll find it... So don't have it your car at all.
NewLogic87 0
LOL that's exactly the shit I always picture in the passenger seat of a mustang!