Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, six days before I turn 18, my mom totaled her nice BMW. She had promised it to me as a birthday present. My step-dad is giving me his old rusty truck instead, so now I can look like a hick. FML
Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML
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Top comments
skierguy 0
I don't really see what the importance of the "I'm twenty" part is. That would be embarrassing at any age, but by twenty I should think your mom would be OK with you having sex and drinking. If you were 16 that might be a different story.
ambrz 0
Then I'm 20 is important because the drinking age in America is 21 lol
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Comments (178)
micadjems 0
Not a problem in canada.....
babbu18 0
lol yeah just gotta be 18 and your freeeeeeeeeeee and you can't be arrested to have it unless ur drinking and driving!!
VeryEZ2Remember 0
YDI you dumb idiot :)
piderman13 0
........wow mentally handicapped people aren't as retarded as you
Tehalon 0
You're 20, whats the problem?
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
you have to be 21 to drink legally
raabhimself 0
I wouldn't let my mom drive, she's narcoleptic
Callyn 47
Having an empty bottle of booze in your seat is illegal no matter how old you are. How are the cops supposed to know you haven't been drinking it while driving? You're a moron.
TheOptimist 0
Breathalyzer. Moron.
Gryphon 0
You diserved that.. but adding in "i'm twenty" made you sound like some sort of goody two shoes.... I'm 17 and up to the same stuff but I don't think of myself as a rebel... meh whats she going to do?
Enslaved 38
Adding the OP's age does matter. She's 20 meaning she's an under age drinker. She's in the States. I doubt the mom is going to think she's a: "Goody Two Shoe." Damn now I'm singing--Adam Ant Don't drink, don't smoke. What do you do? At least she practices saver sex. (:
jam26 0
a) you're driving a mustang so I'm going to assume you're a girl, (if not, then well...buy a real sports car) just be straight up with your mom that you're an alcoholic sex freak. b) who leaves all that shit on the seat of your car? regardless of your mothers presence in the vehicle, those are the things you leave in a plastic bag tucked under the seat. c) where is the sex toy if it's not in the packaging? ;) ;)
ohheytheree 0
hahahaa. moron.
haha_fail88 0
I totally believe that you're 20, have a Mustang, drink entire bottles of rum, have lots of sex, AND still live with your mom.
BAxSoulCity 1
have you not read the comenting policy? do not call fml's fake