Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, having been on hold on the phone for several minutes, I felt the need to release a fart. Just as I started my release, they picked up. They definitely heard. FML
Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML
Today, a co-worker has the office next to mine. The walls are not soundproofed. I can hear him farting loudly throughout the day. He spread a rumor around the office that he can hear me farting all day. Another coworker told me and gave me advice on foods not to eat, that gave people bad gas. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML
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Top comments
Naitras 15
Why bother? It's apparent they don't care about it
tsume24 3
if I were you I'd be trying to make mine louder than theirs.
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Comments (89)
Buttsexpirate 9
"Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow"
leadman1989 16
Of course YOU would say that. ;p When/if you change your pic this won't make ass much sense.
FMLKamiisaur 0
You should try to outdo them...
juliushater 12
If thats the case i realy feel sorry for my neighbour, i let it rip when i`m at home. dont give a shit !!!
mgsoloist 14
If you really fart that loud you probably should at least take a shit...
TheFlyingMan 8
Aww, poor you! Maybe crawl into a corner and release the kraken?
pixelebrate 0
(hears loud noise from the corner) O_o
Enrique34 0
I like how u say ur not that slutty haha ur funny
Hockey_fan 0
Aww well that stinks ....no pun intended....
jedielf 23
One of you is going to have to move out... eventually. Probably.
Enigmax2514 7
Hey man what's a few farts between neighbours? They've always bombarded your ears with noise pollution, why not counter with a few of your own? Hazardous gas released Is a bonus, direct the smell upwards with a fan
AdamMichael 2
give them some back! dont take any crap from the smelly neighbours!
perdix 31
Are your neighbors the dreaded Fart Bullies -- people who will rip loud, obnoxious farts, but will beat up anyone else who makes even the slightest toot? The only way to stop them is to Dutch oven them with Silent-but-Deadlies.
leadman1989 16
I can't relate, I'm the type of guy who burps insanely loudly during don't be afraid of the dark and actually gets laughs. Movie sucks BTW not scary in the least.
MagicallyFat 12
What does your comment have to do with anything??
leadman1989 16
Op - I stifled a fart (out of modesty/shame) Me - I CAN'T RELATE... Burps loudly and randomly in public. I'm talking directly to op in this case. Didn't realize that was such a conundrum.