Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML
Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said, "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
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Top comments
broderickc 13
Literally the definition of being in the wrong place at the wrong time
starile 20
Throw some chocolate at her, maybe that will calm the beast!
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Comments (129)
confusedAsFuck 34
Bitch-slapped
michaelaranda 28
Go to walmart and ask them for security tapes, most walmarts have a camera EVERY SINGLE AISLE. Then serve the woman. "OPs friend said i was on my period so i accidentally slapped OP" wont hold up in court. Probably. But seriously. Suing solves problems.
CanadiAnM8 24
Does anyone else love OP's name?
SwaggCapone 11
That's when you stick your foot out as she's walking away
mandacleary 14
Walmart doesn't keep there tapes. after so long it gets recorded over.
LindsayxMoore 18
like the people above had said, I hope you sue her ass or press charges. there was absolutely no reason for her to slap you no matter what was said or who said it, she crossed the line.
rizzkiyoshi 19
except (at least in my store) half the cameras are dummies.
rachaelb07 6
Maybe she'd have to go to anger management or something. Her husband would probably thank you.
Axipiter 24
68, Which ones?
ballpython 15
Wal-Mart does not use tapes. They have DVRs.
tannara 12
Agreed, uncalled for
tjv3 10
Well this is the time that you file charges on her
broderickc 13
Literally the definition of being in the wrong place at the wrong time
caitylynn05 16
Agreed.
threer 30
With the wrong bitch of a friend.
eddeeezzyy 19
Nevertheless though, Walmart will ALWAYS be the wrong place.
starile 20
Throw some chocolate at her, maybe that will calm the beast!
kamikrazy 6
Your are not you when your hungry.
Allennis44 16
Flowers too. Possibly a credit card
iAlissa 34
My boyfriend created an "EBK". This stands for emergency bitch kit. It's filled with chocolate, tampons and Midol. So when I get bitchy, he hands me this bitch kit. Except when I'm not on my period, I get offended.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Shakira doesn't like chocolates when she's on her period? Those hips do lie!
iAlissa 34
#49, I've loved this kid for four years. And I appreciate every little thing he does, even the EBK. I'm flattered he'd even do that for me.
flashback.miss 28
please say you slapped her back at least and told her it wasn't you who made the comment? some people just have to make an unneccessary scene in public.
Welshite 40
Slapping her back would create that "unnecessary scene".
slycooper_fml 11
I agree with 14. Slapping her back would just make it worse. Even though OP didn't deserve it, I really doubt slapping the woman back would help the situation.
grumpybr 13
You beat me to it. I'd slap her back for sure!! I think a guy should never hit a woman, unless she hits him first for no reason, then she deserves to get a taste of her own medicine.
XxDancerGirlxX 17
Nobody should hit anybody and expect them to be ok with it. Man or woman, keep your hands off people.
Caitie_kid 8
*sigh* only at Walmart...
jessBeAqueen 13
I agree with #55.... to a certain extent. if someone puts their hands on me, sorry I'm not gonna just stand there and take it.
NotoriousLES 14
No, no. One should not slap back... Just punch her in the jaw! If someone walks up out of the blue and slaps you, they are giving you the right and the privilege of knocking them the **** out with no moral guilt or legal ramifications.... Self defense against physical assault, as witnessed by security cameras and the many fine people of Walmart.
ball_crusher 4
OMG you're so edgy!!!
clumsycarolyn 17
Well your in quite a bloody hell moment
Neyuu 18
I got serious second hand embarrassment from reading this comment.
ThatFancyPenn 18
IT'S YOU'RE ******* YOU'RE LEARN ENGLISH IT'S YOU'RE FOR YOU ARE AND YOUR FOR POSSESSION
ricm916 4
Illiteracy is becoming the norm... Thanks Internet!!!!
violetsweety 26
86- how are you going to correct somebody, without using punctuation?
schmidty332 10
86, your picture is perfect for that comment
williemac98 8
I guess she was!
hienzburgess 9
sue her
TogeBara 12
if op doesn't press charges and put her in her place op is stupid. Sue or put her in jail. Do not let her get away with this
ApollosMyth 22
I normally don't jump on the bandwagon to press charges, but what the lady did is assault.
Carebeareatu 23
'Merica
Axipiter 24
**** yeah!
TogeBara 12
you can "Murica" all you want. This woman is abusive and needs to be dealt with.
Bludude4 10
Menstruation jokes are never funny. Period.
ADOG2645 17
I just died.
JamieBue38 5
The people you meet at Walmart...
ClaireWinchester 17
That seems like a bit of an overreaction....
Carebeareatu 23
An ovaryaction?
iAlissa 34
There's no eggception for what she did to OP.