Anony-moose
United States
Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Bronx, United States
Today, I had to slowly explain to my slightly ditzy roommate that no, I will not grow testicles due to taking testosterone supplements. FML
Anonymous
United States
Lost in translation
Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML
oliverP123
United States
Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML
milkysubstance
Brisbane, Australia
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
yerface
United States
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
wow
France
Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML
baffled
Norwich, United Kingdom
Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML
Leashaness
United States
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
HairyBoobs
United States
So, here's the thing…
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
United States
Please explain
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML
Top comments
EelJumpsRope 0
Reinforce the fact that bologna nipples are gross and smaller nipples are a blessing.
MagicallyFat 12
Worst super power. EVER.
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Comments (89)
EelJumpsRope 0
Reinforce the fact that bologna nipples are gross and smaller nipples are a blessing.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
My question is, why is she looking at her nipples to compare the previous size? Was she taking pictures each day to compare nipple size? Did she show them to OP as evidence? So many questions...
atownnnn 6
yeah nobody likes pepperoni nipples.
ikickgingers 15
14 - I don't look at my nipples in hope for some miraculous change. I am however very familiar with my body( seeing how it's mine ) and any change is noticed. Full length mirrors, ftw?
CRAZYBISCUIT 7
Doctor patient confidentiality?
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
19- I understand what you mean about knowing your body. When I was pregnant the changes in my breasts were so slow and subtle that I would have to ask my husband if he noticed anything different about them. It's like when you get a puppy, in a couple of months they look pretty much the same to you but when you compare pictures from when you first got the puppy to that day you realize they really have changed a lot and you really didn't notice because you see them every day. Yes your going to notice major changes but if it is a slow subtle one you really don't.
HomeAl0ne 20
#34 - Could you send me a photo of your puppies to see for myself please?
youfukinfail 0
I like da bologna nipples ;)
otebear 3
29- As long as no identifying factors are revealed, OP is within the law.
iAmScrubs 19
That must be a major disappointment. Having black holes as nipples would be awesome!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
But then you wouldn't exist to experience the awesomeness, which would kinda defeat any of it in the first place. Or, black holes could just be portals, in this case to nipple heaven. Now that could be pretty sweet.
instnt1nfction 17
Now let's take a moment of silence and pray for those nipples that are now watching over us.
DrDilllonReese 12
I say we resolve the black holes for nipples debate once and for all. Somebody call Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Topygrl21 8
Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill Nye the science guy!
fightingkittens 39
Just like Helen Mirren's ******* (google it), Shrooms.
peptidoglycan 4
Shrinking nipple syndrome!! Everybody hide your nipples!!
13FTW 9
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo nipples!!
EvilPotato 15
This is madness, no THIS IS NIPPLE SYNDROME.
DrDilllonReese 12
57- How dare you take the name of 300 in vain?!
EvilPotato 15
'Cause I can.
BrianAlarcon 0
HTH does your nipple get smaller?..
MissRoxiie 12
Its a plot by the illuminati's, they'r all over the world now O_o
Sonic_boomerang 5
Ice cubes?
AmericanGal21 11
Apparently very slowly
emodude44 0
ITZ A CONSPIRACY LINKED TO 911 AND THE SEIGE OF JERICHO GOD IS CUMMING JESUS IS CUMMING! LET GOD AND JESUS CUM INSIDE YOU! LET THEIR WARM WHITE GLOW WASH OVER YOU AND COVER YOU!
gurly98 13
Well she doesn't know anything and they can't shrink down that's biologically impossible
FarSide 23
My nipples shrink when they warm up. They enlarge when I get cold. The opposite happens with my tally-whacker.
rabbittboi 18
You have a need to whack talley's often? Don't think I was offered that particular add-on when I came off the factory floor :oP
22cute 17
It's NOT biologically impossible.
6joe9 0
Is that patient chuck norris's wife ?!
marod02 0
Maybe it was just really cold
TipOfTheHat 10
Well if you have some photo's to compare, fml could be the judge of that!
cptmorgan6 8
Just tell her her boobs are getting bigger so it just seems that way. That'll cheer her up.
Marcella1016 32
That was my first thought
elcieloskyler 5
Meee too lol
MagicallyFat 12
Worst super power. EVER.