Foxtrot Mike Lima

Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML

Today, I was so nervous about a medical exam I was about to take, that I misspelled my own first name. It only has three letters. FML

Royal flush

Today, I went for my first eye test ever. Turns out I have astigmatism and need glasses. This is already on top of me already having a hearing aid, having hypertension of my joints, autism, and endometriosis. FML

Not a good sign

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

Delirious

Today, while not feeling well at work, I had to finish up some papers. I was so out of it, I couldn't remember how to spell my name. I had to improvise by pronouncing each syllable of my name out loud. My boss now thinks I'm a dumbass. FML

Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML

Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML

Ay yo

Today, I realized my lack of spatial awareness has hit a new low when it took me 15 tries to type the word “At” instead of “Ay.” FML

YouTubers take note

Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML