Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had to remove a splinter from one of my roommates. This would have been better if the splinter wasn't deeply lodged in their asscheek. FML
Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML
Hobbit feet
Today, my dad has such thick, horn like toenails that when I stepped on one of the cuttings, it actually stabbed into the thinner skin on the underside of my toe and bled like crazy. FML
Many such cases
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Careful
Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML
Content warning
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Top comments
null_fml 11
Just, whatever you do, don't ask him how it got there. You're probably better off not knowing.
Xrandomkrisx 7
lol atleast your father appreciates you taking a splinter out from his butt :)
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Comments (107)
xmarkstheheart 0
Sexy-time! You pull something out of your dad, then he sticks something in you.
chili_is_good 0
at least it was not his Wang...
Bcfrmkc816 17
Well you should be glad that he is still with you and y'all were probably doing something together there are alot if people out there that don't have their father around any more for whatever reason
drayloon 50
im afraid to ask why he had wood in his ass in the first place....
mim777 4
oooh. :- grizzly
ImTheAlpha 30
Awkward dad. So glad I døn't have to deal with that kind of stuff.
_VAL3NT1NA_ 6
Wow, i have also done that before.
Alastor13X 8
Ha ha! Its like the lion with the thorn in its paw... Except a bit of a "shitty" situation! Terrible Pun intended!
goodlifenah 12
I know that feel bro
pineapple_stick 4
how'd he manage that? wow.