Anonymous
United States
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I had to remove a splinter from one of my roommates. This would have been better if the splinter wasn't deeply lodged in their asscheek. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML
maruskasommers
Czech Republic
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
smf_ds
Rebordosa, Portugal
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
jab43
United States
Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Hobbit feet
Today, my dad has such thick, horn like toenails that when I stepped on one of the cuttings, it actually stabbed into the thinner skin on the underside of my toe and bled like crazy. FML
clitorasaurus
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
Canada
Many such cases
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
wowawesome
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Careful
Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML
Waitingtomoveout
Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML
imblue42
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
United States
Content warning
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Top comments
null_fml 11
Just, whatever you do, don't ask him how it got there. You're probably better off not knowing.
Xrandomkrisx 7
lol atleast your father appreciates you taking a splinter out from his butt :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
goldspeck 0
do you know how many times he had to change your diaper?
Hanban 0
Aww, don't make me cry!
Darkhumor 0
goldspeck win!
juniorsgay 0
u have to wonder what he was doing...
angry_girl 0
let the but jokes start crakin
b1acksharpi3mark 0
I like puns. :)
lolroflmao 0
SpELingh iZ beneefishal for us aul. :-/ lol
SweetestSin 4
While that is disturbing and I myself would have declined when he asked, just remember it could have been worse!
Goople 0
With your paynus?
Kenpachi_fml 0
did u toss his salad afterwards?
Snow_Daisy 7
Uhm.. SICK. That was her DAD, not some random guy she knew.
Tripout 0
yet THE QUESTION REMAINS UNANSWERED lol there are such things called INCEST. Not sure if I spelled it correctly BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
MattCole 0
Was the splinter on the inside or outside. Removing it from the cheek is one thing. Taking it out of his anus is something totally different.
WONDERWB 2
ROFLMAO. It does suck but it saved him a trip to the emergency room.
illy88 0
sum1 has used the same FML before only they said mom...btw its ur effin dad u idiot..go cry a river...douche..
Sirin_fml 47
Do yah got a link, mah African-American sistah?!
waterynuggets 0
"African-American sistah?!" ........................ *FACEPALM*
Sirin_fml 47
You shouldn't be seeing this unless you're a moderator >_>
Sirin_fml 47
Well, I had to censor it, or I'd have to have moderated myself, like I did with my quite frankly uncalled-for personal attack above :D Serves me right for not "being down" with "the lingo" of "the streets". And all that. Me and my cussy mouth >_>
waterynuggets 0
Lulz. Shovels might be on sale this week.
intint50 0
#29 ftw
CallMeHush 1
So... this is an FML because you didn't have tweezers, used your teeth and just figured out that you flossed with his ass hair or what?
Hanban 0
I think the OP may have used a suction cap too!