Today, I had to get stitches on my nutsack. I didn't know my mom had waxed the bathroom floor, and while I was stepping into the tub to take a shower my feet slipped in different directions. I landed crotch-first on the metal door frame. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML
Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML
Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML
Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML
Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML
Today, while enjoying a truly epic move from my wife in the hotel shower, I managed to accidentally pull the "grab bar" from the wall and clock her in the side of the head. Three stitches at the Urgent Care later, she's explaining to the entire waiting room how it happened. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
My brother, I would like to offer my deepest sympathies to you and your balls in your time of immense pain. A king is nothing without his crown jewels.
pjsr 33
Ouch - that’s nuts man!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (19)
BurnInDemonFire 39
My brother, I would like to offer my deepest sympathies to you and your balls in your time of immense pain. A king is nothing without his crown jewels.
pjsr 33
Ouch - that’s nuts man!
TheGreatPotato 19
This is one of those stories that elicits physical discomfort.
silentbabydeer 10
Ohhhh this just made me cringe!!!!!!
GIJoefan 6
And cross your legs!
Charlie Given 28
and grab your crotch
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
what kind of retard waxes the bathroom of all floors
sillymama 21
I’m not a guy, and this made my eyes water trying to even begin to imagine how much that had to hurt.
acmariner99 25
That’s nuts!
Charlie Given 28
So mom is an idiot and your name is now split nuts and whatever you do keep cool down there sweating stings like a bitch😕
adcf04619 8
ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!
real life problems 26
At least you learned how to do the splits