Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
Today, my boyfriend's brother and his fiancée decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine, if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML
Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML
Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML
Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML
Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his roommate. It's been 45 minutes and it's still going. FML
Today, my live-in boyfriend spent yet another evening trying to bait Twitch streamers into a debate about stuff he barely understands. He's obsessed with "growing his audience", and I'm getting tired of his bullshit. FML
Today, my dad tried to convert me, as he has numerous times before, and asked me why I was an atheist. After giving him a polite explanation and asking him if we could drop the subject, he nodded slowly and said, "You must be menstruating or something. You'll change your mind." FML
Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML
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Top comments
Grauncho 27
I bet he's the guy who recites Bible verses out loud every time he wanks.
anniemeece 23
"Praying aggressively." xD
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Comments (157)
Coolhwip92 8
"rabidly religious" : my new favorite phrase of the day.
Tsukiyomi 16
And fake Christians give real Christians a bad name What else is new
poorjudgement 26
It always amazes me how most of the Christians (me being the "rest" part) stick to the Old Testament in order to judge other people. There is lovely caricature (quite respectful) where Jesus is pictured saying "love thy neighbor", than people question "what about this and that and..." And He replies "did I stutter?" Christians that judge so vigorously are trully missing the point of Christianity.
mustangbravo 27
Call the cops for disturbance.
PixelSword24 15
*Prays Agressively*
writerchic85 26
Haha I just pictured the lucky charms leprechaun saying they're "rabidly religious"
QMAN4000 10
$20 says he's gay
rldostie 19
I'm pretty sure your brother is secretly gay and that's why he lashes out so much. He's scared of his own emotions. Maybe anything LGBTQ freaks him out because it turns him out. It's the worse kind of hypocrisy.
LovelyDeadGirl 13
Well OBVIOUSLY they were hitting on him. *Scoffs.* I don't see how he managed to come to that conclusion, but I'm sorry for your idiot brother, OP.
Trolloled 16
LOL! Can I just point out that "praying aggressively" is one of the coolest things I've ever read? I can totally picture it, too. Well done, OP... well done.