Today, my dad tried to convert me, as he has numerous times before, and asked me why I was an atheist. After giving him a polite explanation and asking him if we could drop the subject, he nodded slowly and said, "You must be menstruating or something. You'll change your mind." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at dinner, I stumbled over the words of the prayer and my dad is now convinced I’m losing interest in my religious responsibilities. To “bring me back to the Lord” he is trying to force me to break up with my girlfriend and quit the rugby team. FML
Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my overly-religious parents that I'm an agnostic. They asked me why. As soon as I gave my reasons, my mom called me a "bigot" and hurled a bible at me, and it nailed me in the crotch. She then said, "That's what you get, non-believer." FML
Today, my dad got married to a woman who's an atheist and makes fun of me for being a devout Christian. FML
Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
Today, my dad has “accepted” that I’m a lesbian, but can’t seem to understand why I can’t just ignore that part of myself, marry a man and have kids, and never talk about the "lesbian thing" ever again. FML
Today, my parents were watching videos of police officers dealing with stubborn suspects. I overheard my mom saying, "It's like a Christian trying to argue with an atheist about God" and my dad agreed. Good to know that they're still as intolerant as ever, and it will never be safe for me to come out as an atheist. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
To spite him, you ought to join Satan's team. That's probably a much more fun club to be in.
lifeis4me 20
Tell him you’re in a deal with Satan that involves giving him your menstrual blood
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Comments (9)
bloopaloop 27
Fine with me if you don’t go to heaven. Nobody wants you menstruating all over the place.
Charlie Given 28
Did you actually read the Bible it even says God accepts all his children regardless of their beliefs it's all about how you act in life, that's what will get you into heaven or hell
turnabouttrial 21
so what about all the other Christian women who also happen to menstruate? including Jesus' mom?
RichardPencil 32
To spite him, you ought to join Satan's team. That's probably a much more fun club to be in.
sourgirl101 29
You do know that atheists don’t believe there’s a Satan either? :P
RichardPencil 32
I do. It's just that atheists don't have any supernatural beings on their "team." To combat an annoying theist, you have to claim some invisible force is on your side. I guess she could have chosen the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
lifeis4me 20
Tell him you’re in a deal with Satan that involves giving him your menstrual blood
Mooglefox 24
I would have decked his ass
WistayShlaio82 13
He probably just needs to go back to the garage