Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
Today, my boyfriend's brother and his fiancée decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine, if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML
Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML
Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML
Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML
Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his roommate. It's been 45 minutes and it's still going. FML
Today, my live-in boyfriend spent yet another evening trying to bait Twitch streamers into a debate about stuff he barely understands. He's obsessed with "growing his audience", and I'm getting tired of his bullshit. FML
Today, my dad tried to convert me, as he has numerous times before, and asked me why I was an atheist. After giving him a polite explanation and asking him if we could drop the subject, he nodded slowly and said, "You must be menstruating or something. You'll change your mind." FML
Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML
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Top comments
Grauncho 27
I bet he's the guy who recites Bible verses out loud every time he wanks.
anniemeece 23
"Praying aggressively." xD
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Comments (157)
archnarquibquib 21
Forgive me if I sound a bit stupid. We're they fighting over the same particular fish or were they buying the same species but not the same individual fish? This is just worded slightly weird to me.
Sheepalicious 20
Another reason why I am atheist.
Starham1 14
Ok. There are religious idiots. And then there's this guy.
srhearrell 21
How does one go about "praying aggressively?"
victrin 12
I've seen it a few times growing up Catholic. It's when some synapse can't quite trigger due to some information that simply cannot be refuted but cannot fit with your worldview. The person responds almost automatically by praying. It's a bit disturbing. Usually involves a lot of rocking back and forth, odd hand gestures and an inability to consistently control the volume of your voice.
iAlissa 34
In short, it kind of looks like said person belongs in an asylum.
adjwejaelwkdc 21
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
xopher425 19
Should point out to him the study that shows the more homophobic the person, the more likely it is they are repressing their own gay urges. Try to be there for him and tell him you love him, no matter what. He must be going through a lot.
Jerakl 21
So I'm a Christian right, and I really hope you guys don't believe we're all like this.
kellyem2 20
Oh, you can be Christian/right without being a religious psycho but that's not going to get you on TV.
Ilikepie82479 20
*avidly
ohSNAPyall 27
Tell him that transvestite doesn't = gay, and gay doesn't = trying to date every man he sees. And buying a pet doesn't = flirting.
lalaney 14
He was probably grappling with an attraction toward them, and a subsequent anger and revulsion at that attraction. Sounds like he hates himself.
chosha_fml 27
#86 That's likely exactly what this is.