Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
Today, my boyfriend's brother and his fiancée decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine, if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML
Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML
Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML
Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML
Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his roommate. It's been 45 minutes and it's still going. FML
Today, my live-in boyfriend spent yet another evening trying to bait Twitch streamers into a debate about stuff he barely understands. He's obsessed with "growing his audience", and I'm getting tired of his bullshit. FML
Today, my dad tried to convert me, as he has numerous times before, and asked me why I was an atheist. After giving him a polite explanation and asking him if we could drop the subject, he nodded slowly and said, "You must be menstruating or something. You'll change your mind." FML
Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML
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Top comments
Grauncho 27
I bet he's the guy who recites Bible verses out loud every time he wanks.
anniemeece 23
"Praying aggressively." xD
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Comments (157)
VibratingMeerkat 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Tranvestite is an offensive term.
Mynamewontfi 40
It isn't. Transvestite is a term to describe a person who dresses up like the opposite gender. Most likely refered to men wearing womens clothes, and they have no intend to, for the lack of better words, "become" the other gender. There's nothing offensive about that term.
crazycly 7
Vibratingmeerkat. You're a fn idiot and OP. just punch your bro. Won't help, but will feel good I'm sure! Lol
iPixiee 23
#16 The term crossdresser is more prefered by them...
milehigh52 22
#16 I don't believe you speak for all tranvestites so please don't act like you do.
Mynamewontfi 40
Sorry 42. Might have worded it wrong, didn't mean to sound like I'm speaking for an entire group. Just saying the term itself isn't always offensive (depending on the person of course) as 12 stated.
184886837272837 32
There's this website called tumblr that I think some of you would really like...
MrConcise 35
#67 - This thread is full of talk of transvestites, trigger warning for everybody who's been a gender before.
jodiitiger 13
No matter how this situation is dress up, it's still pretty GD funny
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
It's sad when religion, which should be a source of comfort and spirituality, becomes something that emotionally cripples you like that.
a1_z9 10
Me too, religion can easily become a crutch for those with mental problems because it gives easy solutions; 'you're not meant to be happy and fulfilled on earth
a1_z9 10
(sorry, pressed send too soon then missed the edit!) ..that's what heaven's for!' is an easy excuse to nurture rather than confront the prejudices that make people feel uncomfortable.
lesly30 14
omg!!! lol sorry OP but this is pretty funny...
jackien1 6
Your brother sounds like a ******* idiot.
more4me 27
I was gonna say autistic , but your version works, too.
sweetnsourrr 11
Do you even know what autism is?
more4me 27
yup, I do.
Myo_fml 20
you clearly don't.
fsomelife 26
In that case, to put it in your words for the benefit of getting the message across to you, you're autistic.
mace275 9
a simple solution can always be found in any situation.. what you need to do is approach your brother take the bible from him and beat him unconscious with it.. then your problem is solved.
i_lik_tomaters 21
Then maybe he'll learn through osmosis
Cads1 24
If it makes him happy, let him go.
Lord_Rythin 0
Just let it go.
edward80 18
Looks like your brother is on the right track to become an exorcist
psychopolarbear 28
Or a terrorist. Which ever happens first.
Evil_Jester 17
Come to the dark side :)
bdsmslave 18
I hear that you can actually beat someone pretty hard over the head with a Bible. Not that I'm openly suggesting using violence, of course... I'm just saying. A bit of random info. Nothing more. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*