Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today. I realized my dad is a little bit too rock n roll when he got into a pushing and shoving match with a married couple, who was making comments about how my dad’s leather jacket and ripped jeans weren’t “appropriate.” To be fair, they started it, but this was a parent night at a high school. FML
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was listening to music while wearing my headphones on campus. A song I really liked came on, and after a while, I started doing air guitar along to it. I was soon accosted by campus security. Apparently, air guitar looks like jerking off from really far away. FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend's band play a gig. I also found out he pulls the same faces playing the bass as he does when we have sex. FML
Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
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Top comments
mvonneumann 0
lol, I actually got yelled once because I was shaking a pen under the table, and the teacher thought I was having a tug
boobaloo_fml 0
lol that would make 4 an awkward conversation....
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Comments (47)
Kervik 0
Was he looking at the barmaid while doing his 'air guitar' motions?
screwtaylor 0
They only gave him dirty looks because they were actually jealous. They wanted to join the OP's dad, but he just wanted a solo act.
bahdspeler 0
lulz. You're my favorite person here.
moonlight_daze 8
Ahhh.. Texas. :-)
skatergirl21 2
that is so cool i wish i new him that would be even cooler lol
RichYungReverse 0
dirty looks? lol the nerve when half the ppl in that bar probably ejaculated in the bars bathroom
reverseesrever 0
Today my daughter caught me jacking off under the table at a concert, she thought I was playing air guitar. FML
Adamt 0
lmfao#19
xyourstruly3 0
smh that's a damn shame
DynamicDave 11
Ha! I lmao'ed at 19! I'm waiting to see that actually posted on here...
mushrooms_fml 0
Omg u got a dirty daddy!!!!!! And not the good kind!!!!!!!!! R u so sure he was actually not jacking off under the table? I hope 4 ur sake he was not!!!!!!!!