Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today. I realized my dad is a little bit too rock n roll when he got into a pushing and shoving match with a married couple, who was making comments about how my dad’s leather jacket and ripped jeans weren’t “appropriate.” To be fair, they started it, but this was a parent night at a high school. FML
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was listening to music while wearing my headphones on campus. A song I really liked came on, and after a while, I started doing air guitar along to it. I was soon accosted by campus security. Apparently, air guitar looks like jerking off from really far away. FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend's band play a gig. I also found out he pulls the same faces playing the bass as he does when we have sex. FML
Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
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Top comments
mvonneumann 0
lol, I actually got yelled once because I was shaking a pen under the table, and the teacher thought I was having a tug
boobaloo_fml 0
lol that would make 4 an awkward conversation....
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Comments (47)
kayeisha 0
hahaha. more like an FML for ur dad. u can just laugh at it cuz it wasnt you :)
mister_moops 0
wow, why didn't you just like turn him around to show everybody or just whisper to him? did you just enjoy having everybody think your dad's jacking off right next to you?
Nomad609 0
added to favorites. :))
Nomad609 0
I was just wondering though what kind of concert was that?? Coz if it was a good band then people wouldnt really care what ur fathers doing and just watch the band or performer..
Dylan94_fml 8
I'm pretty sure people would care no matter who's playing
allmidnighteyes 11
Meh, playing guitar is like jacking off anyways. With most people, it's just them running their hand up and down a piece hard wood for x amount of minutes until the end when you have a mess nobody wants to see or clean up.
DameGreyWulf 1
Hah! I remember moderating this... the visual was so hilarious, I had to say Yes. God why can't funny things like this happen to me? Also lmfao 31
splenda789 0
hahahahahahahaha!
ithedarkone 0
Daddy Daddy! stop beating your meat in public! whats beating your meat? Chocking the Chicken? Greasing The Pipes? Stroking the Cobra? Squealing the Pig? Burping the Baby? Clogging your Noggin? Stop moving your damn hand in a back and forth motion making it look like your touching your d!ck b!tch...
shanedawsonfan 0
Parents are embarasung in public
Dylan94_fml 8
so is your spelling
slayrsamantha 0
^^ Win.
TrollFeeder 10
So is your capitalization and punctuation. Oh wait there aren't any capitalizations or punctuations.
nic7973 23
That's a 'bazinga', right there!
xFazedFX 0
YDI for thinking jacking off in public is bad.
moonlight_daze 8
I know, right?