Set up, punchline
Today, I was diagnosed with a meat allergy. You can imagine the jokes my boyfriend has been thinking up since we found out I can’t "handle his meat" in my mouth anymore. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a meat allergy. You can imagine the jokes my boyfriend has been thinking up since we found out I can’t "handle his meat" in my mouth anymore. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
Today, my husband has been drunk and miserable for days. Not due to a death in the family, or losing a job, or anything normal, no. He has been diagnosed with Alpha-Gal allergies and can no longer eat red meat. He's crying because he "will never taste steak again." FML
Today, I had a food allergy test done because of an ugly acne upswing, and after over a year of vegetarianism, I find out that I'm allergic to soy. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says, "We know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML
Today, I spent a good deal of my afternoon preparing a nice dinner for my girlfriend. When I finally served the meal, I proudly presented her with a beautifully arranged plate of salmon. She looked at it and said, “You know I’m allergic to fish, right?” We had cereal for dinner instead. FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You need to "meet" someone else.
Gina Marie Lombardi 15
I have a meat allergy too, I can empathize
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
You need to "meet" someone else.
Plop 17
Pretty sure she also needs to "meat" someone else.
Gina Marie Lombardi 15
I have a meat allergy too, I can empathize