Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
Today, I saw a creepy guy grab a woman's ass on the bus, so I caught his arm and put him in an arm lock, only for the woman to hit me in the head with her handbag. Turns out they were a married couple on their way home to have sex, and who couldn't resist a quick grope during the journey. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nodbor 11
even dicks need a place to rest.
Narsh 0
How could anyone possibly say that you deserved this? FYL indeed.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (210)
jimmyb00o5 0
#15- That's because the only thing women are good for is sex "Today, I saw a woman on a bus and became aroused. I rested my erection on her shoulder, thinking she would get the message. She ran away screaming. fml."
dantheman_fml 0
#51 I concur... (ur forgetting the making of food too) but yeah mostly sex
jimmyb00o5 0
#52-High five.
mylifesucks52 0
oh bull.. the only thing guys are good for is their sperm (and some arent horrible to look at and play with and cuddle with). besides that we can do whatever on our own!
Izzy322 0
Yea sure humans have the technology to freeze sperm and use it later so I guess yea women could live without men...but for how long??? Sperm slowly dies off while frozen, but we also have the technology to MAKE and CLONE eggs...so u could say women are useless based on ur argument...men could live eternally without women...but why would we wanna do that I love vaginas not dicks!
acid_fml 0
Cut it off!!
dantheman_fml 0
well mylifesucks 52 i have news for you... i dont know if u didnt know this but men won... yes theres a couple random 1s like oprah but for the most part ur the 1s that are only good for sex
jimmyb00o5 0
#54- Women should only speak when spoken to, so you're way out of line. But, in light of your comment, bend over and i would be happy to supply you with your fill of sperm just as soon as you're done with the dishes.
acid_fml 0
Both men and women are only good for sex, so everyone bend over!! XD
Dusa_fml 0
Wow 51/54, you are a asshole. Women don't need redneck jackasses like you.
Nanospeed 0
Why does everyone assume it's a woman? By the writing, it could very well be a man. ~gaypride~