Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
Today, I saw a creepy guy grab a woman's ass on the bus, so I caught his arm and put him in an arm lock, only for the woman to hit me in the head with her handbag. Turns out they were a married couple on their way home to have sex, and who couldn't resist a quick grope during the journey. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
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Top comments
nodbor 11
even dicks need a place to rest.
Narsh 0
How could anyone possibly say that you deserved this? FYL indeed.
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Comments (210)
junjouromantica 0
#30, it just depends on the person's perspective. And boob's are just thought of as less dirty, I think. I would rather have boobs pressing against me than an erection. I would assume most people would, man or woman.
laurisshnazzy 0
I'm not calling fake or anything, but I'm trying to figure out how someone's crotch could end up being parallel to someone else's shoulder... oh, I guess he was standing up when she was sitting down. Nevermind, then. Anyway, ew. FYL indeed.
Kylaka 0
should have punched it.
tuyio 0
why would you want to touch it
I'madumbass 19
I agree. Who would touch that? Btw, I know that someone of the opposite gender touching your private area(s), especially in a harmful manner, is sexual harassment. Oh yeah. I am a sheltered dumbass, and yet I know the term "sexual harassment". Sigh...
Sessee 4
Rofl@punch suggestions. Punching an hobo's aroused dick... xDD
iDontFail_xD 0
How is his dick on your shoulder? Is it that long???
SilentGround 0
this is one of the worst ones i've read in a while. i would have freaked out.
gawdess101 1
I agree with #15. But I wouldn't say ALL men are like that, but most are.
soaked_ 0
EW
catatonicsleep 17
According to 'The Throwback' by Tom Sharp antifreeze works well on unwanted penises. The character in question suffered immense pain and almost sliced his off trying to wash off the antifreeze with a lawn sprinkler.... Something to consider next time you ride the bus. I would have said you should have hit it, but I don't think I would want to touch it, don't know where it's been do you?
dantheman_fml 0
ummm i say thats ur fault... thats what u get for living in a shitty ass country like peru hahahahah