Today, I had my girlfriend over at my parents' for dinner. When we were done, my dad went around to collect all the dirty plates and stacked them on his arm. When he got to my girlfriend, the weight became too much and he and the plates fell on top of her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
Welcome to the family!
kelseyyup 5
Sounds like the odds were stacked against her.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (171)
perdix 31
Somehow, I think you're hinting that your girlfriend is fat. "when he got to my girlfriend, the weight became too much" We're not talking about plates anymore, are we?
DrMime 10
She had a gravitational pull?
antwon86 4
Dr.Mime and Perdix are about to battle this out. LET IT BEGIN.
Rasetsu 10
F *her* life. Lol. But yeah, if she handled it well, forgave your dad, and still thinks you're awesome, then she's a keeper! Don't worry, mistakes happen.
Sumo69 9
I am guessing your dad loves the new GF
greenbean_12345 7
Ive dropped a knife on a baby doing that....
luccmon 6
Oh my god! I wouldn't tell that to too many people!
micahsmommy 13
And this is why there should be a common sense test for all mothers before they let you leave the hospital with your baby.
greenbean_12345 7
It wasnt my baby...
The_Hitdude 12
#44 And that makes it okay?
KiddNYC1O 22
44 is just claryfying.
antwon86 4
Seems legit
greenbean_12345 7
I have a feeling you want me to say no.....
downtime 13
Accidents happen, theres really no reason to go crazy over this stuff.
Teyros 24
Indeed, if it was really bad she would be in jail and not on fml
KiddNYC1O 22
Smooth dad.
BellaMarta 19
Your dad deserved it. FYL.
silentbutfunny 0
FHL
SweetPerfectionn 3
.. What?
BellaMarta 19
He should've carried the plates in his hand instead of on his arm.
ljcarranza 16
are you sure it was on accident?? lol
chance16 0
Hahaha
Internut 6
There were 231 plates he was holding exactly. He was going for the world record but damnit that bitch got in the way!
redbluegreen 41
You know what I've always hated about Guinness World Records? They print them so big. It covers half the refrigerator.
pagullarka 9
Déjà vu
pagullarka 9
How come y'all kept sitting and watching instead of getting up and saying let me help you with that bad
downtime 13
I was worried nobody else would have the common sense to say this.