Today, it’s been about two and a half months since I entered into a severe, borderline suicidal depressive episode. My psychiatrist prescribed a new antidepressant to go with my mood stabilizer, but it will take up to a month to kick in. Looks like it’s gonna be a blue Christmas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I am once again dealing with severe depression and anxiety. I go through this cycle every three months. I’ve tried almost every antidepressant available and nothing helps. I’m sick of it and sick of life. FML
Today, I tried for 45 minutes to convince my psychiatrist to take me off my antidepressant. When he finally agreed to do so, I broke down into tears and sobbed uncontrollably for 10 minutes. Hello, increased prescription. FML
Today, despite intensive therapy, despite adding a powerful antidepressant to my mood stabilizers and antipsychotics, I am still severely depressed and can see no light at the end of this tunnel. I'm losing hope that I’ll ever be happy again. FML
Today, after 4 months of severe depression, I finally found an antidepressant that works. The downside? I no longer have any interest or gain pleasure in any of my hobbies. FML
Today, I've finally got my mental health under control after decades of flailing. I also started showing signs of Serotonin Syndrome, which is caused by my meds and could result in seizure and death. So my choices are the swirling void of depression or possibly just the void. FML
Today, I saw my specialist and I told her that one of my medications is messing with my head too much. I said that it’s making my depression so bad I have started cutting again, and want to walk in front of a truck. They said I just have to "suck it up". FML
Today, my depression caused me to sleep through my appointment to try and get more antidepressants. We love mental instability. FML
Today, I’m pregnant and have been experiencing the most severe depression of all my life. My long-time therapist asked me to think about whether “this is the right time for me to be in therapy,” then dropped me as a client. FML
Today, I found out the psychiatrist who treats me for bipolar disorder died. He committed suicide. FML
Today, I’m trying to avoid yet another psych ward admission, but my anxiety is so bad that I’m constantly on the verge of a panic attack, and my depression is to the point where I’m tempted to stab myself in the neck with every sharp object I see. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
It is hard, and you may not notice the change as it happens. But, please don't use that discouragement as a reason to stop taking the medications. You will be back where you want/need to be soon. If others can't handle it till then, then ignore them. You are making progress and should be proud of that.
Chazzster 32
Don’t give up. In my experience, if a particular medication is going to help depression, it usually starts have noticeable effects in a couple of weeks. Though medication takes longer to get the full effect. Some people are more self aware than others and we notice the small changes… Hopefully in addition to prescription medication, you are also getting counseling or psychological help. My experience is that gives even more long term help than the medications. But it takes longer and you have to follow through on the counseling. You also may have to make some changes in your life to reduce some of the triggers, or learn how to deal with them better.
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Comments (2)
Thaylok 17
It is hard, and you may not notice the change as it happens. But, please don't use that discouragement as a reason to stop taking the medications. You will be back where you want/need to be soon. If others can't handle it till then, then ignore them. You are making progress and should be proud of that.
Chazzster 32
Don’t give up. In my experience, if a particular medication is going to help depression, it usually starts have noticeable effects in a couple of weeks. Though medication takes longer to get the full effect. Some people are more self aware than others and we notice the small changes… Hopefully in addition to prescription medication, you are also getting counseling or psychological help. My experience is that gives even more long term help than the medications. But it takes longer and you have to follow through on the counseling. You also may have to make some changes in your life to reduce some of the triggers, or learn how to deal with them better.