Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my gynecologist's for my checkup and had this sudden urge to poop - but it was my turn, so I just went ahead to meet the doc. The doctor noticed that I wanted to poop and also informed all the orderlies that, "This patient wants to pass stool now." FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML
Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML
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Top comments
NiiTeH 7
The best way to greet a patient.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Theres no way that couldve been awkward.
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Comments (80)
Burrito_Time 5
What shitty situation!!
PaigeySlade 7
....no. Just no...
ringo330 1
I would feel safe and great if I were the patient who wouldn't Want to take a shit
tabarnak_fml 7
That's probably the best thing you could have said. I literally laughed my ass off!! Nice one (:
StromyG2 10
You are implying that your ass in no longer connected to your body. If this is the case, FYL.
tabarnak_fml 7
Hahahaha wow never thought about it like that, but it seems I am. :D
eeefxx 13
I know you're dutch by your name
GothInside 6
I'm sure that was awkward but OMG that's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time!!!
mrmerino 0
At least you were straight with him. That's gotta be refreshing.
jsprackman 11
It is part of your job
born_hustla 26
Very straight forward! I like that.
StromyG2 10
That's a shitty job.
cunningchick 1
That's a pretty great way to say it:) hahaha