Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my gynecologist's for my checkup and had this sudden urge to poop - but it was my turn, so I just went ahead to meet the doc. The doctor noticed that I wanted to poop and also informed all the orderlies that, "This patient wants to pass stool now." FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML
Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NiiTeH 7
The best way to greet a patient.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Theres no way that couldve been awkward.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (80)
t_o_d_a_y 0
same difference
bikramkohli 11
This fml remind anyone else of Margaret Cho? "I'm Gwen, and I'm here to clean your ******!"
journeymae 4
I'm pretty sure that you're lying, OP... it says that you are a man, yet you go by Jan? I say that you made this up.
kitsune3 20
Oh, the hilarious awkwardness of such moments. I hope your supervisor and patient were as amused by that when it happened as I was when I read it. You'll be fine, OP.
kgcrazii 4
If I was the supervisor, I would've laughed my ass off.
brittaaany_93 38
That's one of the best things I've read on here hahaha
kittykat1501 31
Guess who's eating lunch? :( :(
coocoloky 12
What's wrong with that? Is your name not Jan?
lucasj23 11
wow. why would you do that? fail
randybryant799 21
How could you possibly say that. I really don't understand how that could come out of your mouth.