Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
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Top comments
DynamicDave 11
Is it even possible to sprain a nose?
OHIOxRAIN 0
Nothing says romance like a bloody nose
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Comments (66)
cashmuhlah23 0
firsttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!
beastmode21 0
nice one dumbass, and it's not that romantic to throw someone when they're trying to leave
colorfullyemo 4
You're first? Really? That's so interesting, bro. You should tell that story at a party.
Bizzacore 0
good going jackass. that's what you get for trying to be romantic. stick to the basics. hump, grunt, fart, and eat. that's all guys are good at. trust me, it's all I'M good at.
youaresofucked 0
yeah you can ******* say that again. no shit its ALL youre good at. you Nob Jockey!
c00lsk8erboi 7
not all of us are like that. maybe just fat asses like u tho
detroitsucks247 3
Thats because we are men and you are a slob...
Fireashes250 16
You'll never even hump anything other than a rock if that's all you do #2.
ThaMC 0
FIRST!!!!!!!!! also ydi for trying to do that and repeating several other fml's
criminalmind 10
Ur not first smart guy
Xx_f_us_all 0
fail at sex lol good intentions though
OHIOxRAIN 0
Nothing says romance like a bloody nose
kittenBar 0
oh jeez
skeetmeister 0
wow. your an asshole
mollyjynxjax 28
A) *you're* B) how?
halolord01 2
sucks
DynamicDave 11
Is it even possible to sprain a nose?
cadburyegg 0
No, it is not.
Mjwnenrjs 17
I thought that too
writergirl23 19
Me too. The nose is made of cartilage, people. Thats what glues bones together, among other things. If the nose was a bone, don't you think you'd be able to wiggle it back and forth?
Bloodknight 22
wha?