Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my gynecologist's for my checkup and had this sudden urge to poop - but it was my turn, so I just went ahead to meet the doc. The doctor noticed that I wanted to poop and also informed all the orderlies that, "This patient wants to pass stool now." FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML
Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML
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Top comments
NiiTeH 7
The best way to greet a patient.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Theres no way that couldve been awkward.
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Comments (80)
sickenedwinter86 0
No YDI or agreeing your life sucks here. In that situation I'd have been happy to hear it said in such a comical way. At least your way shows you aren't exactly comfortable either.
topaz554 6
omg this made my night :)
xsabx 5
That's so funny hahah it's something I would do
Zkenny13 6
That's 2 sentences.
vocaloidtiger 12
*reads FML's*.. Mhmm, yupp, very funny, yep, mmhmm.. *comes to this one*.. LAUGH ATTACK XD
xgetxbentx 13
Well, if you're planning to be an ER nurse, you'll be fine. Over the last spring and summer I was at the ER a lot due to the pain in my lower abdomen, which turned out to be endometriosis, but it was always on my right side and due to the amount of pain I would also get other symptoms that mimicked appendicitis, so we couldn't really take the chance of not going. But anyways, while I was practically living in the ER I heard the nurses, and quite a few doctors, who dropped the f bomb all the time.
takenover 15
That sucks but it's funny. Very funny.
winterforever97 30
LMFAO!! XD
ravenxcorvinus 9
lmao! honesty's the best policy, OP.
bubo_fml 11
Are you equally eloquent when gathering a semen sample? "'Ere ya go Man-Jack, ya got 30 seconds to win a milk race & pull yourself a white ribbon!"