Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML
Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML
Today, I woke up feeling ill. My mom sent me to school anyway, and grounded me for "lying" about being sick. As soon as I got to school, I began vomiting blood. FML
Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
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Top comments
skidary 0
don't have Hooker nails next time?
padlarf 14
No, you did not throw up blood. You threw up, and blood from your throat mixed with the vomit.
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Comments (78)
Compass 0
Wouldn't it just be grand if your fingernail had come off and you choked to death on it, liberating humanity from your stupidity?
christyxoxo 8
you're a dumbfuck, op.
MissButterCupp 0
ehhhh gross!!!
AshDramatiicsxz 2
O_O CUT YOUR NAILS !!!
sizel1 0
all u have to do take a crap in the toilet the stick your head in the toilet that should do the trick......... I'm serious
usmcbunny 0
You're supposed to wait until your body is ready to vomit, to vomit. When it's ready, a simple opening of the mouth will allow puke to flow. Don't ******* stick your finger in your throat to make yourself puke, EVER. Well, I take back that "EVER". Don't do that unless you've just ingested poison
YoYoYo20_21_22 2
definitely cringe-worthy.
sadsadsadsaddepr 2
film that crap.
sanjif 0
stomach flu is actually an excuse for being bulimic
weaselcheese 0
That is so awesome.