Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML
Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML
Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML
Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML
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Top comments
p00p0ster0us 0
If you're lucky, he'll stay right where he is. Away. Sorry that your dad is a prick. Unless of course he plans to call you later and say 'haha, I was joking sweety' We shall see, Mr. Prick. We shall see...
thatsucks42 4
Probably not, but your grammar does.
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Comments (76)
4everFastpitch5 2
37 is so right! I play fastpitch and f*cking hate it when people associate softball with lesbians! WTF!
moodyreallyrocks 27
Hope they threw you a surprise birthday party later….
rachbat00 0
STOP CALLING US SOFTBALL PLAYERS LESBIANS!!!
thehipster 3
Lol
tcox42 2
oh my gosh! that sounds exactly like something my dad would do. now even if i just stub my toe or something, he freaks out and says "omg are you gonna be ok for the game" and he wont let me stay up late the night before a game, even if my game is in the afternoon. and also if i have a morning game, he will wake me up extra early so i will be wide awake by the time it starts hahaha i can relate!
Hiawassee 9
I relate to you as well . I'm a right handed pitcher and catcher and natural left handed batter on my 11th year in the game, virtually an asset to the team . In October of last year I got into a car accident and broke my left wrist ( my catching hand ) We had a tournament starting the next day and I had to catch as our other catcher couldn't make it . My dad wouldn't let them put a cast on my hand because it would stop me from playing and " I just can't do that, it's not fair to anybody but myself . " & " I needed to stop being selfish and think of my team rather than just myself . " Thanks, dad ... Now I have a permanent injury to my wrist .