Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML
Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML
Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML
Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
p00p0ster0us 0
If you're lucky, he'll stay right where he is. Away. Sorry that your dad is a prick. Unless of course he plans to call you later and say 'haha, I was joking sweety' We shall see, Mr. Prick. We shall see...
thatsucks42 4
Probably not, but your grammar does.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
janz 0
awww sweety happy birthday
YeTi_MaNN 0
But all guys in theater ARE gay, or at least they are damn close. Not a homophobe, just an observation.
georgie_sweetypi 0
that's harsh!
marleytooyou 0
omg I play softball too
NatandAlexrhot 6
my dad does that to me all the time! and softballs the best
savanna44 0
Softball rules and my mom did the same thing to me
lilemo 0
hey 37, it's a proven fact that 70% of all college softball players r bi or lesbian.
frolick123 0
haha all guys in theatre and all soft ball players r lesbian... u prolly are i mean u said half ur team had boyfriends not that u did... and ur softball team has really good covers... come out of the duggout already
Immatheprez 0
He's probably just having a sense of humor, don't worry about it
Carlie_McCartney 1
I'm sure he was kidding. No one could be that thoughtful (leaving a card) but rude (...by screwing it up) haha. well, sorry just the same!