Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, while having a bad dream, I went to punch a bully in the face. Mid-swing I wake up and punch the solid concrete wall to my basement bedroom FML
Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
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Top comments
Olympiakos10 15
Atleast you didn't stab the muggers in your dream ;]
ty7in_topic 31
Why doesn't your wife tell them that your story's true OP. I'm sure they'll believe the story if she says it.
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Comments (99)
catanita 18
I don't care what everyone else thinks. What your wife think is all that matters.
brandoneyez1 25
I admit this happened to us too. It can happen with a rough night.
kayleighcupcake 14
it sucks but it happens! My fiancee has elbowed me in his sleep a few times!
Neopopulas 9
Either A) you're the type of person or in the type of relationship that this is easily believed. or B) They're idiots.. or maybe C) you're lying..
CrazyManNo9 29
I did the same thing. Happily, my wife did believe me. She knows I would never, ever hit her for any reason.
pinkdino911 9
Can you blame them?
ballpython 15
I have had a similar experience while sleeping with my wife. After a few comments from people I would respond with obnoxiously sarcastic comments regarding the situation such as " she snores a lot and I can't take it any longer". After doing this a few times the comments stopped.
ryanpetersen3 2
i dont believe you
sprinkesrdelish 5
if it helps, I believe you, my fiancé flails around in his sleep too.
C0mmanderKeen 9
people are stupid sometimes and always want to believe the worst. D: my boyfriend is crazy when he sleeps so it's happened to me a few times. x) I just hit him back.