Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML
Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML
Today, I was excited to sleep in on my day off. My girlfriend woke me up at 6 am. To bring up an argument from a week ago. An argument about salad dressing. FML
Today, I was working in the produce department at my work. A lady came in to return some mangos. I asked her what the problem with the mangoes was. She said she didn't like the way they were talking to her. FML
Today, my mother had a Kitty Party (sort of), and I was in charge of the tea and snacks. I was so busy I didn't pay attention to their discussion. After everything was done, I heard my mother talking about my poop colour and how unhealthy it was. FML
Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML
Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML
Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML
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Top comments
daftPunKt 4
Get your own life
2856B9BD 9
Omg, she EATS?! ..*sarcasm*
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Comments (155)
gracehi 33
First of all, who the hell is Victoria Beckham? Is she that football player's wife or something? Second of all, maybe if you got your nose out of those gossip magazines and into a newspaper you might have less trivial conversations.
joshaz 6
This man has said everything that needs to be said.
gracehi 33
I appreciate you agreeing with me, however it would have been even better if you got my gender right.
dbt88 15
Posh Spice! That's all I ever cared about her for anyway.
redwednesday 11
She was posh spice? I thought she was just a washed up actress who happened to be married to David..
menacingsprite 3
Yep Posh Spice!
teague95 16
I ate a poptart for breakfast at school. You now have another topic
Torva_fml 16
That's unhealthy though. :(
lennonlucado 1
Don't you know that poptarts are the devil's rice cake???
ohmandapants 17
The tabloids are running out of things to print it seems...unless...how the hell did you find this out? You stalker.
mk58 31
That's what I was thinking. Even tabloids have better things to print, like what Lady GaGa was wearing to her last public appearance.
Zomg_Okay 27
The tabloids are only now "running out" of stuff to bullshit about? I was under the impression that happened years ago.
ohmandapants 17
^...ok, wise guy. I only meant that instead of printing some scandal, there was an "article" about what she ate on her birthday. Probably not, but whatever.
XKXKKXK 10
Is that not an important subject? I can think of few things more exciting than a soccer player's wife's birthday meal.
KILLERTOAST13 4
U need a life
MaddieLynn123 7
You don't say?!
emmagillespie24 11
Wait- she had fruit salad instead of a cake!?
micahsmommy 13
It's Victoria Beckham. It's impressive that she ate anything in the first place. Cake is simply out of the question.
petraphotoDOTca 6
once a year though? shit, that sucks!!! she NEEDS to eat cake, should have had my slice today, instead of me bwahahhaaa, no freaking way I eat fruit on MY damn bday
ohSNAPyall 27
She didn't want a spice cake?
xIBleedPurplex16 0
Justin Bieber is amazing his abs(;
teague95 16
Oh.Em.Gee ikr!
XKXKKXK 10
What in god's name does that have to do with fruit salad?
RBntM 10
WOW!
derkster 6
TBH no1 cares ;)
challan 19
Did she eat it off of David's naked body? Yummy.