Today, I got rejected by two different guys. One was my ex-boyfriend who said he wanted to keep our friendship, and the other was a guy I went on a date with who faked a European accent the whole time during our date despite him being born and raised in Texas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made my way to a bar for a first date with a guy I had been talking to online. It turned out he was actually my ex-boyfriend in disguise, trying to get revenge for dumping him. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, after not dating for 2 years, I went out on 2 dates. I got stood up both times. FML
Today, I tried asking a guy I like on a date. He turned me down, saying that I "seem like a nice person and all", but after seeing those reality shows on truTV, he "would rather not date a Russian. No offense, though." FML
Today, I went on a date after months of rejection and loneliness. Everything was going great until my date argued with me over the correct way to pronounce my name. FML
Today, I saw the guy I met on Tinder and went out with, only to be told “I’m not ready for a relationship, let’s just be friends” out on a date kissing another girl. I interrupted the date to rip him a new one for lying to me, only to be escorted out by the restaurant manager. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML
Today, I went on two dates from a dating app. The first one said halfway through that we couldn't date because it would break his contract. The second one catfished me. This is why I have multiple dates in one day. They never end well. FML
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
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Top comments
AlmightyFish 0
What does OP mean by a European accent? I live in Europe but there's a lot of different accents. :-o
marinus_fml 20
YDI for being desperate. How could you even consider asking two people out on the same day. Moron.
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Comments (60)
alexavb15 4
iLove Texas (:
Stupidpeopleanno 5
Everything's bigger in Texas. (Yeah I know this wasn't the right time to use that but there aren't a lot of Texas FMLs that I see. I took what I could get...)
ArianaGlove 0
Not all Texans talk like a cowboy!!! gee zus. freakkin ppl
dirtyrussian97 0
I was born in Europe! haha just thought everyone should know...
dansco 25
Shit shag I take it?! You're lucky you and your ex can still be friends and the pillock with ze fack assent (spelt wrong on purpose) was probably taking the piss out of you!
Pixie333 6
Paris, Texas maybe?
fthku 13
Good thing for the second guy. I wouldn't wanna be with a girl who got rejected, so she just hops on to the next guy she sees.
hrlz001 0
which accent is sexier to girls I figured texas?....and what's a european accent that could be 30 different ones
Griffus 0
not an fml it's a your stupid "ex" is "ex" for a reason, and fake accent texan means u like retards. go find a short bus I'm sure you can find a better date than either.
manhands21 6
Was the guys name Armando?