Today, I got rejected by two different guys. One was my ex-boyfriend who said he wanted to keep our friendship, and the other was a guy I went on a date with who faked a European accent the whole time during our date despite him being born and raised in Texas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made my way to a bar for a first date with a guy I had been talking to online. It turned out he was actually my ex-boyfriend in disguise, trying to get revenge for dumping him. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, after not dating for 2 years, I went out on 2 dates. I got stood up both times. FML
Today, I tried asking a guy I like on a date. He turned me down, saying that I "seem like a nice person and all", but after seeing those reality shows on truTV, he "would rather not date a Russian. No offense, though." FML
Today, I went on a date after months of rejection and loneliness. Everything was going great until my date argued with me over the correct way to pronounce my name. FML
Today, I saw the guy I met on Tinder and went out with, only to be told “I’m not ready for a relationship, let’s just be friends” out on a date kissing another girl. I interrupted the date to rip him a new one for lying to me, only to be escorted out by the restaurant manager. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML
Today, I went on two dates from a dating app. The first one said halfway through that we couldn't date because it would break his contract. The second one catfished me. This is why I have multiple dates in one day. They never end well. FML
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
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Top comments
AlmightyFish 0
What does OP mean by a European accent? I live in Europe but there's a lot of different accents. :-o
marinus_fml 20
YDI for being desperate. How could you even consider asking two people out on the same day. Moron.
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Comments (60)
kingtz 6
YDI for being desperate enough to try and get back with your ex and some douche bag whom you knew was faking an accent.
seahorses4eva 4
I gotta say, I don't really see either of those as a loss. You gained a friend, and lost a weirdo. Maybe I'm missing something? Just be yourself, OP...and let life happen. The right guy will come in to your life when it's meant to happen.
intheboot 0
agreed. if the person your with is completely false on the first date, you're better off without them. F his life for having to put on a show to get a date.
19fml18 0
it's funny how everyone thinks that texans have a true Texas accent. I'm from Texas, and I hardly know anyone with an accent, give or take a couple of people
uranidot 0
idiot. Just because you don't notice an accent, doesn't mean it isn't there. Texans do speak in a manner very distinct from other regions of the USA, even if it's not as exaggerated as is stereotypical of them.
zombifysara 6
Are you high? Virtually everyone I know in Texas (whether they were born here or have just lived here awhile - my boyfriend's from California and even he's developed one) has a distinct accent. I'm from Houston and most of the time I can identify regional dialects just by listening for a minute. If you honestly think none of us have an accent then maybe you ought to get your ears checked.
idoj1 3
no such think as a 'European' accent. theres English (obviously different regions but in general) scottish irish welsh french german italian spanish... OP your an idot. americans! honestly!
AlyshaDeShae 10
You just made my morning. I love watching stupid people call other people names. Especially when they prove their own idiocy in the process. Thank you, idoj1, for that brilliant comment.
Giana4598 0
I hate being Irish.
SCOTTY_DAY 0
texans are the best! need to have your wits about you when around them.
Hisbabyforever 0
This reminds me of beauty and the briefcase, where a guy pretends to have an exotic accent even though he's American.
lolololwut 0
my picture roflstomps yours.
lostfaithinpppl 19
Neither one of those guys sounds like a keeper. Why would you be upset about them OP? Sounds like you are very desperate and don't actually care who you are having a relationship with. Or maybe you are one of those people who believe that the person of their choice will just magically turn into a prince charming as soon as they start dating you. In any case, being more selective about your choice of significant other wouldn't hurt. Get some self respect and stop going after losers. Then maybe you are not going to be in a situation where you have to bitch about them on the internet.
NotANoob 0
WHAT THE HELL? what the **** is a european accent? I'm english (we HATE being called british btw) we have tons of different accents all over england alone. French people have their accents, spanish with their accents, e.t.c. SO WHAT THE HELL IS A EUROPEAN ACCENT?