Today, I got pulled over by the cops for swerving a lot while driving. I tried to explain that my dog bit the back of my neck, but as soon as I opened my door to show him the bite marks and the dog, he ran out of the car. I still can't find him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML
Today, I was driving home with my girlfriend. As we turned onto our block, she shrieked that our dog was running down the street and into traffic. I jumped out of the moving car and chased him for about a mile, only to give up, go home, and find out it wasn't our dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML
Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML
Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, someone let my puppy escape. I didn't know, until I arrived home and hit him with my car. FML
Today, I swerved to avoid hitting a dog that ran in front of my car. The dog was fine but I hit a road sign, ripped off my rearview mirror, and cracked my passenger side window. When I got out to examine the damage to my car, the dog growled at me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a police officer started walking behind me with his dog. I sped up and tried to cross the road. He took this as suspicious and got the dog to take me to the floor. I've been afraid of dogs since I was 5. FML
Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML
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Top comments
Xcizer 17
Who let you dogs out? You! You! You!
ezrocks4u 29
I guess the expletive you could use here would be "dog gone"?
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Comments (50)
vikky538 29
Gone dog!
Ayasha_fml 12
Good riddance, since the dog didn't know it's place in the pack. That wasn't a play bite, but a kill bite. Just look at where carnivores bite when hunting. I realize it's a dog, but maybe after being out in the streets and maybe having another dog show it's not the king, if you do reunite, it'll be too happy and grateful to do it again. Maybe try biting it back harder? Speak it's language. If my cat misbehaves, of course i try a firm "no!" but if it doesn't work, I hiss and swat at her. (not making contact PETA fanboys) and that ALWAYS sends a clear message to stop and back off. Otherwise she just rolls around playful and purring at a human scolding. Same day she comes up for affection and kneading so it's in no way making the pet scared. We may be smart enough to get an idea of animal language and behavior, but they aren't always able to.
heartofhannah 28
This is literally the most ignorant comment I've ever read on here.
demonpuppeh 10
Kill bites are not on the back of the neck, nimrod. If it were trying to kill OP it would have and it DEFINITELY would've gone for the jugular. You are a complete idiot.
sempisaviour 17
23, no it isn't ignorant. It's correct.
InfiniteSunshine 32
While I agree the dog clearly has behavior issues and needs some discipline, "good riddance," "it was a kill bite," and "bite it back," seems a little over the top. Losing a dog is never a good thing, it might have problems, but it's still sad. The dog also probably doesn't know how to live outside, it could run into major trouble, which is not "good riddance." A kill bite would have been harsher, hard enough to do some major damage, it also wouldn't have been just 1 bite if it was going for a kill. I doubt this was a kill bite because from the wording of the FML, it didn't sound too serious. Humans and our animals communicate differently with each other than they do with their own species. You don't need to bite a dog back, you can show you're boss in different ways. A dog probably wouldn't even know that you were biting it because it doesn't understand our anatomy. Harsh tones of voice, strict routine and signals, sound correction, spray bottles, swats on the nose, and of course praise for good behavior, all let a dog know what behavior is appropriate and what is not.
Ayasha_fml 12
#24 Try watching an animal show for once in your life. You don't watch them for over a decade and not know what you're talking sbout. Sometimes yes, the jugular, but the back of the neck too where the spine is, "idiot." I'm not taking someone with a username of a 5 year old seriously. "puppeh." really. Look at apex predators. Sometimes it only takes one bite.
Ayasha_fml 12
Looks like you can't edit on this new version of the site on mobile, fan fu**ing tastic. Oh well. To add, I also study biology, unlike armchair warriors.
JackStewart522 10
Doggo does an escape
turdwrangler 18
Did you end up getting a ticket?
wow2mylife 25
why didn't you grab the leash first then open the door
burgermike92 17
Lol the dog ran away cause he knew he was in deep trouble.
storethis 17
I'm sorry OP, i hope you find him
species4872 20
ahh fml's just one stupid person after another
Misoranomegami 16
So now you're injured, risked getting your dog shot by a cop if he was afraid of getting bitten, and risking someone or their kids getting bitten because you've let a dog ride unrestrained and let a dog who bites run loose. F your dog's life.
AlbertNeinstein 10
One question though: why would you need to open the door to show them the bite? Why not use the window?
baby4mommy 27
I don't blame OP as much for thoughtlessly opening the door because he was rattled by the bite and then likely further rattled by being pulled over by the cop however while I can sympathize the OP story shows he repeatedly acted in a thoughtless and irresponsible manner. Even if he was unaware that there are car leashes for dogs there is no excuse for not having a standard leash to attach to the dogs collar. Once bitten OP should have pulled over to calm down, compose himself and then deal with the dog properly before resuming his trip. If an unrestrained and overly excited dog plus the dog bite impaired your ability to drive then you should stop driving. Spill coffee on your lap, stung by a bee . . . If your ability to drive safely and responsibility is impaired you pull the car over and stop driving until you regain your composure and ability to focus. I'm sorry you released your dog and essentially abandoned it. You at least have a place to sleep tonight and food to eat. Your poor dog is confused, hungry and probably scared. I hope you have at least put thought into finding him. Place posters in the area he wast lost. Place notices online.