Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML
Today, as part of my job at a pet store, I helped our frat house president pick out goldfish for the new aquarium the big brothers are installing over summer break. And, once I'm initiated, I'll get to swallow one of the fish. FML
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML
Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, I was at the fish store asking if they were hiring. My stepdad decided to humiliate me by screaming at them repeatedly that I'm a good person and that I deserve the job. FML
Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML
Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML
Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
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Top comments
Runninvegan 8
Who wants a Fishy! You do! You want a fishy!
ckr911 5
Awwwkkkwaarrddd!!
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Comments (218)
yax 6
what does having your tongue pierced have to do with the story...? retard...
Evening_Odds 5
#83 you're an idiot. the tongue being pierced means she couldnt talk properly. common sense.
h0ward076 0
hasn't he seen Nemo fishes hate that >:O
VeganVampyre 27
Fish. Just fish. Or haven't you ever read "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish"? :P
abmba 4
Did it hurt? To get it pierced?
EmmyBabe_fml 0
Nah... it felt good. Of course it hurt!
icallitambrosia 0
It doesn't hurt that bad......
aprilfools22 11
lol no it didn't really hurt at all, it was actually a dare because I don't usually do anything spontaneous! It was worth it to be on FML though lol
xNephilim 19
Mine didn't hurt either. It smarted a little as they pierced it, but nothing bad. Even afterwards, I was fine until I stupidly decided it was a good idea to eat taco salad...
unmistakablyamaz 4
Haha I find that extremely cute in a totally awkward way! :)
joshp406 0
man, what a dick. Its ignorant assholes like him that should die. as one with autism myself, i can safely say that we dont all act like that. tell that pet store owner to die in a fire and kick him in the balls
Egnar 19
I don't condone what the clerk did - It was stupid, it was jerkish and it was insensitive to the max. With that said irregardless of if YOU have autism you would know that even if we're speaking about autism that there are different levels, you just happen to be luckier than most. I teach karate and have seen all levels of the spectrum from children who function almost fully with a little extra help needed to students that don't speak at all and have trouble with even basic commands. You're just as insensitive for not understand that your situation is not most. However I digress, having autism you would know that the reasoning behind this FML would be botched speech that doesn't come from hesitation or just mispronunciation that might be prevalent in some people with autism but something more along the lines of down syndrome which frankly is even stupider of the clerk because people with down syndrome [even mildly] exhibit very prominent facial features that most people are aware of. Once again before you go all up in arms against me I don't condone the actions of the clerk, it's funny that he made an ass of himself but don't go around thinking that your case either A) Makes you Special, B) An Expert or C) Like everyone else that people label as "special"
IndigoAcrylic 9
wooh!!! *applause* ;D
vegan_muffin 5
If you ask me, your life is pretty AWESOME. Go see what other "special" treatment you can get.
KabouterPower 1
Seriously guys? No one has ever seen Finding Nemo? The scene where Darla is with her uncle, screaming 'I GOT A FISHY, FISHY FISHY FISHY!!' No? Ok.
Calyx_fml 22
YDI for getting your tongue pierced. Everyone knows it means you like giving head.
tehzilla 12
#100: Obviously. You have to suck a certain amount of bone to even be CONSIDERED for such a piercing. They make you take a test right before, too. #personalexperience
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Even if you do, so what?
Mirorbo 27
And this is what happens when you assume, people. Also, I don't think people should lower the mentality of their communications like that, even if one IS 'special'. As one with several autistic friends, I know from experience that while they may be slightly slow (depending on who I'm talking to and the severity of their autism), they're still adults and like to be treated as such.