Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML
Today, as part of my job at a pet store, I helped our frat house president pick out goldfish for the new aquarium the big brothers are installing over summer break. And, once I'm initiated, I'll get to swallow one of the fish. FML
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML
Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, I was at the fish store asking if they were hiring. My stepdad decided to humiliate me by screaming at them repeatedly that I'm a good person and that I deserve the job. FML
Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML
Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML
Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
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Top comments
Runninvegan 8
Who wants a Fishy! You do! You want a fishy!
ckr911 5
Awwwkkkwaarrddd!!
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Comments (218)
sunlovinmama 1
That's hilarious. I lol'd and I love worthy FML's. Great story. You should have pulled the bag open and dumped the fish on floor and said "fishy go flop flop!" While jumping up and down.. Then demanded more fishy's cause "he" killed them.
lolnatalyloves 9
Tongue piercings are nasty
G6chick 0
That's not how u talk to special ppl that's how u talk to dogs
Desi_Dion 8
Haha that made my day! But thats ok because i had to go shopping while half of my mouth wasnt working cause if the novacaine the dentist gave me
iCandy2011 1
Lmao so funny. Total fyl
sex_and_drugs 11
u shoulda stuck ur tounge out
GothicAngel17 24
That's pretty difficult and painful to do when you've first got it pierced, just sayin'
Jake_ToXic 3
What an asshole why would you speak to a special needs kid like that anyway
superfail77 8
Damn people these days are stupid I bet ur tongue piercing looks cool I want to get mine peirced when I am older
TheEpicPies 15
Lol!
dream1_fml 5
Well, OP, you life does suck, cause you didn't get the reference. The clerk was obviously qouting Finding Nemo.