Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
krazy_glu3 0
buy another and empty it on his face and tell him that's what the mugger wouldve felt when he was mugging you if he hadn't emptied it out.
xxxJORDYBEARxxx 0
I hate muggers. they need to get a life
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
allmidnighteyes 11
Were they wearing a bear suit? Or was it an actual bear? Maybe they got frustrated with their failures as an artist and resorted to a life of crime.
Grimmerie 31
i see what you did there.
tammy0312 6
ummm... i think your confused...? or am I having a blonde moment?
Faleni 4
LOL 21 win!!
allmidnighteyes 11
If you don't get it, you weren't meant to.
therealdavid 0
Hahahaahaahahahahahaahahha.......... I don't get it:P
msbritt06 0
yea, I'm pretty sure u meant to put this on the next fml
allmidnighteyes 11
Sigh... You ******* are denser than a brick of Osmium.
therealdavid 0
60 I'm pretty sure you're incorrect.
therealdavid 0
I'm not a ****** ;'(
Faleni 4
lol people comeee onn think about it a little bit... *sigh* well we tryed..
emoooze 0
Today I got my period! My Mum doesn't believe in using pads, 'let nature flow' FML
allmidnighteyes 11
You're doin' it wrong.
emoooze 0
Whatwrong?
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Don't all women use tampons nowadays?
allmidnighteyes 11
No. Tampons only come in "Super Jumbo" size. They're made specifically for women who can't help the fact that they have heavy flows and wide-set vaginas.
tammy0312 6
your husband should kick his ass!
shaytards_fml 9
did u loose a lot?
macskapingvin 0
Maybe if he'd been a rapist and not a mugger she might be a bit looser today.
kikibisweet 0
I see what you did there #70 lol. Im sure she wanted to write *lose* because it "lost" an "o" from "loose"
therealdavid 0
only her virginity. BA ZING
nae_nae7890 0
you should've keyed the mugger's face then hit him in the croth with the empty can then as #10 said, buy a new can and empty it in the co-worker's face. =)
GawZ 0
cool story, bro
johngarber24 1
y did ur husband's co-worker borrow ur keys
cayytee 0
seriously. she said coworker not friend so the two cant be so close they borrow each others car. strange.
Sylverstone 2
Ow, that burns.
Googoo27 12
should've put a knife in ur sleeve 2. btw fyl
DVecc 0
use the bottle as a blunt weapon and strike him in the temple as hard as you can. people really need to learn how to defend themselves...
Kingmort35 4
A lil plastic bottle?