Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML
Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML
Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML
Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML
Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML
Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
XxXCrissyXxX 12
Have you tried talking that out? A little direction never hurt.
Lost_Ghost 8
Toys are always an option.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
DirkNJ 2
Don't feel bad I get more enjoyment from banging my head against the wall then the last 6 years of my 16 year marriage. You live in NJ ?
faerieonacid 26
Communication is the key!
gracehi 33
Everyone is assuming that the boyfriend is lousy in bed for one reason or another. Has it occurred to anyone that perhaps they haven't had sex at all?
japtap81 16
Maybe u should talk to him instead of wasting both of ur time. Man up and use communication
mr_jack_meoff 5
Oh, so now it's all about you, 2 years ago you couldn't wait to give it up. But now, you turned the tables. 2 years ago, anything felt good .
Headcrab 29
YDI for faking! You only punish yourself.
iwadasn 33
Where in the FML do you think she said that she was faking?
yellohgawd 3
not good! sex during courtship it's the best!!!! u need to talk to this man of yours
LiteSkinBOSS 2
lolss , dang. have you tried playin with yourself .
Tenshij27 2
She might not have been faking it, but it just sounds like the relationship has been stale. Two years is more than enough to endure. Maybe she has tried talking to him but it's just been progressing and digressing. After two years, if the talks haven't worked I would say move on. Communication and self pleasure are important but if he's not willing to make the effort then is it really worth it? Intimacy (not just sex is important) and it sounds like there isn't much there. You can't always be the one who pleases.
the_loveliest3 6
sex isn't everything. but if he doesn't do anything for you, its time to evaluate the relationship. sex is emotional.