jakewr
United States
Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Baltimore, United States
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
Doug
United States
Make a scene
Today, I was at a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, right up until the ring bearer tripped. The rings were fine. However, the emergency chocolate bar I'd hidden in my suit pocket for later flew out and landed in front of the bride and groom. Some wedding photos now feature a chocolate bar in the center aisle. FML
Wheresthecreamfilling
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Smooth talker
Today, instead of my boyfriend calling me 'his Kit Kat' like he normally does, he called me his 'Kit Kat Chunky.' When I asked him why, he said it's because I'm now 20% chunkier. FML
Phoenix0614
United States
Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
newlyengaged
Atlanta, United States
Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML
Username
Canada
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Anonymous
Thanks, I hate it
Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML
Anonymous
Miami, United States
Man vs. Machine
Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML
Top comments
DJR_fml 2
Mmmm kitkats
chefinheels88 5
I'd reevaluate your marriage
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Comments (169)
isabel22 0
O..O Wow well you got to
isabel22 0
love your kit kat
wintamint101 7
what would've happened if you got three?
Denikk 0
You lucky son of a bitch.
terranada 3
Wonder how you would've felt if it was a Klondike bar
whybother8 0
because kit-kats dont get on your nerves.. spouces do.
A7X_LoVeee 10
9 - ******.
xBangOut 4
guys...
NomOnShroomz 14
...have penises...
rcloca 10
lol
ritbbehindu 0
two*
dolphincheddar 10
stop ruining posts mr grammar natzi. it was probably iPhone autocorrect. nobody cares :P
theaws0m3guy 4
Snap that smile back, Kit-kat! Oops...wrong snack...
imthatguythatdid 0
OF COURSE ud be more excited when u get two candy bars for the price of one u cant get that at ur wedding
KJLD5 0
its, the snack that smiles back, goldfish. sir..
CaptainAwesome2 0
**** in my pants
DJR_fml 2
Mmmm kitkats
knights95 9
imagine if the double rainbow guy was there
koe4 0
and 2 bags of skittles fell
whoisthisgirl 4
I love when that happens :) happened twice my first year of college and once in the soda vending machines.
BigHoshJosh 0
op are you slightly overweight?
whybother8 0
give me a break! give me a break! brake me off a piece of that kit-kat bar!
Andychilada 0
because kit-kats will actually give you an ******
carmenm 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you mean f ur partners life that's a terrible thing to say
aardvarkish 17
Why does no one want to hear the truth anymore?
carmenm 6
just saying that's a nasty thing to say why'd they get married for if they didn't want to
yourshootingstar 4
they didn't say they didn't want to get married they were just more excited getting two chocolate bars
carmenm 6
yeah if u were more excited bout two choc bars then committing the rest of their life to someone they obviously weren't that excited to be married
yourshootingstar 4
they said 'when they got married' it's just a title. if they know they're committed and happy marriage isn't that big of a deal, just a piece of paper. now getting two chocolate bars for the price of one is pretty damn exciting !!!!!
NecroParade 3
62, you've obviously never gotten two KitKat bars at once. It's freaking awesome.
Cake_or_death 2
wtf carmenn I'm pretty sure the author was exaggerating to get the point across that she got way too freaking excited about the kitkats. don't take everything so literally.
ILOLatmockdaweek 0
62- it was TWO kit-kats at once. Anyways, they said more excited, i think the feelings you have on your wedding day are a little different to excited.
roids1234 0
who would be excited about committing for LIFE YOU ARE TRAPPED
Severn_fml 0
5 - because YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!
chefinheels88 5
I'd reevaluate your marriage
smh33 0
agreed
NianRakluz 0
How much would you charge to re-evaluate his marriage?
Alexunited1212 2
a life supply of trident layers.
Alexunited1212 2
a pack of trident layers.
Doortje 30
Personally, I like snickers, but candy bars are pretty great so I can't blame you.
wisericky 12
i would rather have a Milky Way, all that nugent and caramel in and around my mouth. soo good.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I actually pictured a caramel-coated Ted Nugent rolling around on a tongue. I'm sad now.
Legendslayer222 26
Delicious. I don't blame you.
DjeePee 25
So you married because...
enonymous 9
Lots of Reasons: 1) Bored. 2) Worst game of Chicken ever 3) Finally a reason to say I have credit card debt. 4) "So how much of your Grandfather's estate did you inherit" 5)Buy one get one 50% off coupon. 6)Lifelong Scrabble partner 7)Someone to clean and massage your Anal gland 8)The INS is going to send you back to that 3rd world country called Quebec, Canada 9)Your parents decided you can't legally marry your sock, right hand and a bottle of Jergins. and 10)Because Boners knocked you up
Martian_Kyo 1
she was holding a kit kat
122409 0
...then why are you married??
hellojpg 0
so you married when u shouldn't have but u got 2 kitkats today... yea YDI kk
enonymous 9
You're obviously a man who knows the priorities of things. I personally don't remember my wedding. I got too drunk in Albertacos and you know what they say. What happens in Albertacos stays in Albertacos.