Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I hit a new low in my diet. There was a danish sitting on the table in the break room at work, and I wanted it. At the end of day, one of the guys threw it into the dumpster. Guess who just ate a dumpster danish. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Geez, you remind me of that chocolate guy from spongebob! CHOCOLATE!!!
KennKenn 0
Buy him new ones. Or rewrap the box.
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Comments (111)
KennKenn 0
Buy him new ones. Or rewrap the box.
bballsoccerrocks 7
Were they good I guess?
emvictoria 9
Buy another one for him and buy your own, I always do that if I buy chocolates because there just so good!! :)
Freeze_fml 17
You sound pretty happy about your inability to control yourself.
bballsoccerrocks 7
Were they good I guess?
VDubbGrrl 4
Bballsoccerrocks, not only does your question make ZERO sense, you had to be doubly annoying by posting it twice! "Were they good I guess?" Is the worst question I have read all day.
LunaDragon 10
@bballsoccerrocks obviously they were if she was pigging out on them.
Tookie22 5
Om Nomnomnomnom... How will you explain that to him?
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
18, if no one cared the first time, why would anyone care the second??
StopDropNRoll 11
Come op you didn't get any chocolate for your bf. those chocolates oh no those weren't for your you baby. That's all you have to say =P
kooochris1995 14
Hmm Everyone thumbed down my comment... Maybe I should post it again and people will thumb it up. Your stupid #17
showdaddy46 0
If you can say "you are," as in "you are stupid," then you need an apostrophe. Just a rule of thumb for all these newbies to the English language.
Freeze_fml 17
Sorry, #76, I was actually using the reply feature for its intended purpose and my comment should be read as a response to #10. I didn't think it was necessary to clarify this but apparently it's not as obvious as I assumed due to annoying children being unable to resist their pleas for attention and deciding to post irrelevant comments as replies.
n_epic_fail 14
Like your boyfriend wanted chocolates for Christmas anyway.
honeybuncher 3
its the thought that counts....most of the time.
marmlr339 14
Well it's not very thoughtful eating someone's Christmas present
Stallion91 6
It took courage and determination to eat that piece of chocolate that is wrapped up and everything. You got balls kid
TheGothGamerGirl 20
YDI, learn to control yourself better.
noobcake111 2
Throw them back up
shazza26 1
Gotta love chocolate! :)
lol_ironic_life 9
Chocolates are always good! :D It's okay OP next time buy 2! One for you and one for him. Please don't eat both boxes though lol I don't want to see a new FML ;)
Buttsexpirate 9
Geez, you remind me of that chocolate guy from spongebob! CHOCOLATE!!!
newlove_fml 0
I literally laughed out loud at this comment.
CryMoreFMLs 15
With or without nuts?
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
HAHA I WAS SO THINKING THIS!XD
miserypoison 13
It's tempting, especially when chocolate releases dopamine for pleasure, makes you want to eat MOAR :3
Freeze_fml 17
I'm sure some weeks old chocolate would have complimented his gift anyway.
Hansemans 17
Chocolate doesn't expire quickly, don't worry.
rubberduckie94 13
no it doesnt. I have actually found a stash of year old halloween candy before and ate it with no shame
xcarxcrashx 9
I'm sorry. This chocolate isn't fresh enough for my liking.
VoteForTaco 8
I could only think of :"Omnomnom"
yumlicious 4
Your mom reminds me of the cookie monster. Om nom nom nom nom nom nom!!!!!!!!!!
Torva_fml 16
Really 79? Your mom jokes were soooooo last year. Keep up kiddo. ....then I took an arrow to the knee.
yumlicious 4
I'm bring them back like I brought sexy back. Oh and cute car pictures are way overused. How unoriginal of you.
yumlicious 4
Meant to say cat. Srsly. T and R are right next to each other. And easy to be mixed up when typing...especially on iPhone and their tiny virtual buttons.
Iamaninchworm 0
Clearly your behind if you think your mom jokes were last year.
DavLynn 4
FYL?? You only have yourself to blame..
xShannonxSammyx 7
Reminds me of Fez from That 70's Show. xD