jakewr
United States
Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Baltimore, United States
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
Doug
United States
Make a scene
Today, I was at a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, right up until the ring bearer tripped. The rings were fine. However, the emergency chocolate bar I'd hidden in my suit pocket for later flew out and landed in front of the bride and groom. Some wedding photos now feature a chocolate bar in the center aisle. FML
Wheresthecreamfilling
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Smooth talker
Today, instead of my boyfriend calling me 'his Kit Kat' like he normally does, he called me his 'Kit Kat Chunky.' When I asked him why, he said it's because I'm now 20% chunkier. FML
Phoenix0614
United States
Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
newlyengaged
Atlanta, United States
Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML
Username
Canada
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Anonymous
Thanks, I hate it
Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML
Anonymous
Miami, United States
Man vs. Machine
Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML
Top comments
DJR_fml 2
Mmmm kitkats
chefinheels88 5
I'd reevaluate your marriage
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Comments (169)
schpanki 11
OPs name suggests that he is 14/15 years old?
Jacobt24 19
That or maybe he has a kid with his wife and that's the year it was born.
zolziski 11
Or maybe that's the year he got married in?
LaChicaBonita 0
or maybe it's just some kid making an FML up just to get a post
Martian_Kyo 1
or number of kit kats he ate
ArielTheMermaid 17
How? It could be his first name middle initial last initial OP, I don't blame you, because KitKats are awesome. :)
mog85 0
ur fat
lidemocr 0
ur stoopid
wisericky 12
ur in black and white?? :P
KittyJay 3
I love when that happens!!!! :) stuff like that just makes my while day, but that last part is pretty ****** up.... -_-
mahcookie 3
Too bad you're max. 15 years old.
katies94 0
because kitkats are AMAZING! and that theme song is so catchy
rattusrattus 19
Were they four fingers or two? I mean, two two-fingers aren't much to get excited about, but two four-fingers is a cause for great jubilation.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Did you marry Mr. Planters? his peanutyness gets Boring after awhile.
Cashtangoteam 10
fatty
burning_bodies 0
diet maybe?
lidemocr 0
right because everyone who gets excited about getting a free candy bar must be fat. anyone who automatically goes there must have serious insecurities and/or an eating disorder... just saying...
Beast_Hoff 0
**** the thumbs down, i thought it was fuuny, and not to be taken THAT seriously :P
allmidnighteyes 11
Well, you didn't get two wives when you got spent all that money and got married, right? It's only understandable that you get excited over two-for-the-price-of-one.