Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML
Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
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Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
Must've made a mini-fridge joke too, eh?
kickazz16 15
Run* major typoooo
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Comments (155)
WhatWhatInTheHA 0
You let him catch you?
BbqKirbyAnn 0
Hahahaha!!! You aughta watch "Your Highness"
grahambertus 11
He just has a short temper. Be the bigger person here, its a small world so it will be only a little while before karma gets him. Don't let your courage be dwarfed by that of others, stand tall and be proud!
joy_nash 7
you're an a-s-s for saying that but im going to h-e-l-l for laughing so hard
konstantly 0
Pricelessss
sonic19951 6
This reminds me so much of bedtime stories. You: "ow!! Why did you do that?!"" Midget: "Cause I'm angry!!"
fatalwish 6
I think i would have praticed my gnome punting technique
ndhin831 2
goddamned oompa loompas
Time2party6780 6
I wish all the dumb-asses would stop making short jokes. I'm 4-11 and I get jokes and looks all the time. It's not funny. I'm sure he gets made fun of and thought you were doing the same. You could've asked him what the price said or asked him to move over. YDI for being a stupid prick.
queenb1621 21
I used to work with a little person and I kept forgetting he was short so I kept sending him tasks that he couldn't reach. So one day he was pissed and fired off at me about how I kept teasing him and shit like that. When I tried to apologize he went up to the head boss and quit. I got fired that same night for "forcing a resignation of a fellow employee"
rroxie124 5
Midgets scare me 0_0