Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML
Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
Must've made a mini-fridge joke too, eh?
kickazz16 15
Run* major typoooo
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (155)
Honda288 2
I would have knocked that tiny bastard out.
jhamann 0
The small are angry
GryffinDarkBreed 3
And this is what assault charges are for :)
ninalaura 5
Sounds like something that would happen in a Middle America WalMart. Your life does suck!
Steffi 26
The guy who punched you has got anger issues.
lazylove101 8
Always happens
OwenBicker 14
Did you make sure to tell him you were just looking at the fridget?
I'madumbass 19
Ok, I don't understand what you have against tiny people. If you weren't, you wouldn't use "midget". How do I know? I'm tiny (or a midget). 5.3" for life!!!!