Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, since getting the new kitten that only I wanted, it has scratched me and peed on my socks, my side of the bed and my laptop. It loves my husband though, who was against getting a cat at all. FML
Today, I came home from a four-day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she's been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML
Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML
Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML
Today, I got home after a rough day and was really looking forward to some cuddles from my cat. I opened the door and she came running toward me, which was unusual, so I knelt down to embrace her. She ran right past me to get to the tuna sandwich I'd unwittingly dropped on the floor. FML
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Top comments
devildog562 33
Seems like they're too catty to cuddle with. Try barking at them. Dogs are mans best friend.
ItsAUnicorn 27
At least the dog's on your side?
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Comments (51)
False_Stupidity 42
Looks like they are having a special bonding session, but it's not a catastrophe or anything worth throwing a hissy fit over since I'm sure you'll get your turn and everything will turn out purrfect in the end.
littlefoxx 12
What a catty comment.
cjmedic 12
That was hissterical!
ChelseaSmile001 15
Cats are assholes. lol, sorry, OP! Better luck next time.
RA91 26
Talk about a rude welcoming!
CarlosDanger 12
Did your dog transform into a cat?
paolino_fml 18
Dogs, more proof they're better than women
Ahmad69a 10
You didn't get any pussy at all but cheer up, a bitch is still there...
kerstileann 26
wow i read kitten as kitchen and all i could think was wtf?! but atleast the dog likes you still right?
Jake_Dee 10
Hahahahaha two pussys turning you down instead of one.
loserman67 36
WOW, two angry *******....
LadyNightowl 17
Ok, that's kind of funny, but I really hope for your sake she just wants a little space and bonding time with the new kitty. Perhaps, try again later? If it continues, you definitely need to talk to her, because it could be a sign of a deeper issue.