Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML
Today, my girlfriend’s brother FaceTimed her from Brazil to talk about his business. This wouldn’t be a big deal, but we were in the middle of our fourth reschedule attempt to celebrate my birthday. I was sitting naked next to her when she took the call, and she sees no problem. FML
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Top comments
alex18_fml 0
Dump Herrrrrrr.
nomadxx7 0
Harsh. As for the dude being gay, I'm sure if the OP and his GF were together for a period of time he'd have met her friends (including the gay friend). Otherwise I'd talk to her, find out who he is and then probably dump her. I would never be naked around my girl friends since I have a girlfriend and that would be disrespectful. I guess the best course of action would be to figure out who Kevin is (gay or not). If he isn't then find a cute girl friend and then find a situation where you could be naked and hopefully when your girlfriend texts you you can use the same line against her. That's the best way to mindfuck someone. Use the same situation against them so they can walk in your shoes for a while. That way if she dumps your or gets mad at you then you have an excuse to tell her what you really think of the situation she was in. And if she was "joking" about a guy being over there that's just wrong in general and definitely not something you'd do to someone you supposedly love.
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Comments (135)
luigi23_fml 0
it goes mater if hes gay id freak out
phiniusmaster 0
I would be so pissed, it's just like, why would you even tell me? Not only would I be pissed just at finding out that this Kevin dude is there seeing her naked, but for her to be a total bia*ch and tell me as if it was nothing is even worse. I almost wish this was happening to me, or that I knew her so I could giver her a piece of my mind. >:(
tiltwrestler 0
I would be like "Hmm... I have 3 questions." then id say "question number 1- kevins a person, right?" if she said yes, id continue to "ok, question #2: how old is kevin? and are you guys related?" if she said around her age and not related, id continue to #3: "i see... now my last question. is this some april fools joke?" If she said no, then id say "ok, well i have something to tell you: WERE ******* OVER YOU CHEATING C*NT B*TCH *****!" then id go out and f*ck one of her friends and send her a video of it
Sicarri 2
She was probably trying to mindfuck the OP into going over -kinda a joke that he was supposed to take seriously
Remegy 3
well... kevin might be gay if he's not... kevin is defidently dead
balanceMMX 0
"is wayne brady gonna have to choke a bitch?" that would be the first thing going through my mind... after punching kevin's lights out, of course! :)
podrummer9209 0
#2 needs to choke and die.. This would be about the time I cheerfully inform them of their sexual promiscuity and dump their ass.
tipple 0
My bet is that Kevin is the family pet, and OP has jumped to (a number of) conclusions, and decided to become a victim. Did OP ask her who and what Kevin is, or did he just run to the 'puter to post a woe-is-me FML? 1. It could also be that GF is just comfortable being naked with other people present. That's not really that unusual. She texted saying she was "tanning", she didn't say she was "*******". If she was trying to hide something, she probably wouldn't have texted anything, and if she was trying to be nasty, then she would probably just have texted that she was having sex with someone else. 2. She's your girlfriend, not your property. You don't get to dictate to her how she has to behave in every situation. If you find that she is comfortable being naked in the company of people other than her boyfriend, and you can't handle that, then perhaps you should break up with her. But understand that it's happening because you can't handle things about her - not that she is doing anything "bad". #77: You have issues. Both with self esteem, and esteem for others. If you've gone to the effort of asking the first 3 questions, why not ask the obvious fourth: #4 "Are you 2 having sex?" And what if she says "no"?
tiltwrestler 0
tipple: haha chill the F out, i dont have issues. i also dont have anything wrong with asking that 4th question. so sure, go ahead, ask them that too. i didnt exactly check it to make sure it was perfect. SORRY and 82 its called MIND *******. as in SHE DIDNT SAY IT, SHE WANTS HIM TO THINK ABOUT THE POSSIBILITIES AND PISS HIM OFF/DRIVE HIM CRAZY. its a cruel trick girls often use
nomadxx7 0
@82 You're serious about the comfortable being naked around other men? What is this a nudist colony? Most people have issues with the ones they love being naked around other people. The opportunity to get hurt is far greater than trusting your GF is being faithful. I'm sorry but I disagree entirely with you comment. Sure she's not his property but it's called empathy. I guess the only thing I can say to you is... would you be ok if your SO was naked around other people? Would you nonchalantly think nothing of it? It's not if she's comfortable but if they are both comfortable with the situation. Kind of like swinging or open relationships. I'd be hurt and have been hurt because my exes haven't been forthright about situations that I would never, ever put them in. I guess if you are comfortable being naked around other people and have no problem with your SO doing the same then all the power to you. I for one would just dump her, trust is hard to build up and easy to destroy. This situation would be a deal breaker for me since I couldn't put myself in her situation and text my girlfriend that I'm naked with another chick. The room for misinterpretation and destruction of trust would be too great.