Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML
Today, my girlfriend’s brother FaceTimed her from Brazil to talk about his business. This wouldn’t be a big deal, but we were in the middle of our fourth reschedule attempt to celebrate my birthday. I was sitting naked next to her when she took the call, and she sees no problem. FML
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Top comments
alex18_fml 0
Dump Herrrrrrr.
nomadxx7 0
Harsh. As for the dude being gay, I'm sure if the OP and his GF were together for a period of time he'd have met her friends (including the gay friend). Otherwise I'd talk to her, find out who he is and then probably dump her. I would never be naked around my girl friends since I have a girlfriend and that would be disrespectful. I guess the best course of action would be to figure out who Kevin is (gay or not). If he isn't then find a cute girl friend and then find a situation where you could be naked and hopefully when your girlfriend texts you you can use the same line against her. That's the best way to mindfuck someone. Use the same situation against them so they can walk in your shoes for a while. That way if she dumps your or gets mad at you then you have an excuse to tell her what you really think of the situation she was in. And if she was "joking" about a guy being over there that's just wrong in general and definitely not something you'd do to someone you supposedly love.
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Comments (135)
isakk21 0
$5 says Kevin's a 'mo.
lovegod 0
maybe Kevin is gay
ortonRKO 0
I'd straight bash Kevin..gay or not
sublime420 11
"That's cool then, i guess me and Kristen will just get in the hot tub together.."
_IDEK_9 3
i smell a threesome
JrPeru14 0
dump her!!
matto263 0
dumb that bitch
Ooooshit707 0
Holy shit that sucks to be you
bris_lions11 0
go over there and tan naked too. see how this so called Kevin likes that, hehe.
12dcevin 5
that sucks trying to breakup with you?