titkip
Nairobi, Kenya 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got a text from a call girl. She asked me to delete her number because I'm too demanding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
whyme
Help
Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML
Anonymous
United States
Spiteful
Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML
SeeBrendenBurn
United States
Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Good one, thanks
Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls, all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML
vegeta
Today, I’ve been getting sexy messages from an unknown number. First I told her to stop multiple times, then I blocked her. I can only assume that she changed her number and managed to find me and message me again. My girlfriend saw the messages and told me flatly “It’s over.” FML
Anonymous
United States
Not you
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
Anonymous
Party animal
Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML
anthony
Luxembourg
Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML
anonymous
United States
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Evan
United States
New saying just dropped
Today, my new girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female friends' numbers. Her rationale is, “When them bitches are going through some shit, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.” When I refused, she promptly dumped me because she doesn’t "need a potential cheater” in her life. FML
Top comments
Welshite 40
Maybe you shouldn't ask call girls to slather themselves in mayonnaise and hop on one leg while hooting like an owl.
tranced_ 45
This FML has so many issues !
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Comments (52)
sinisterace 12
Call girls will do a lot, OP, if you were too demanding, I wouldn't want to even KNOW what you were asking her to do. YDI
juggalo2 22
YDI. If you can't pay someone to spend time with you, then you have serious issues.
iAlissa 34
You know you've ****** up when some of the most open-minded girls on this planet shoo you away.
O0hdear 21
You know you're ****** up when the girl you pay to be in your company wants nothing to do with you.
CoupeDeAce 6
#Winning
adamzzz 8
I hate how there are people in the comments comparing a low key hooker to actual professions
aspecialspecial 21
1) why is this under intimacy? 2) why did you even bother replying to a call girl? 3) she sounds like a twat presuming that she texted you and engaged you rather than you engaged her... -sigh-
ouijacorn 9
I don't know what OP did or didn't do, but it's important to remember that sex workers are people too and deserve to be treated with the same courtesy that you would extend to your hairdresser or chiropractor. And if you're rude to those people too, you're just a dick and don't deserve a call girl OR a nice haircut.
bamfoozled 10
Take this as a wake up call to do something more with your life.
Cagara_fml 10
And what were your demands?