Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, after waiting 3 months until my friend's wedding was done being celebrated, I announced my engagement. My newlywed friend bitched me out for "stealing" all of the attention and being selfish. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Reminds me of the idiot who staged his own kidnapping to go out drinking with friends.
Zebediabolical 45
Oh those canny kidnappers. Forcing the hostage to write his own note!
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Comments (85)
ashalayx 13
and then he'll come home tonight, or go to his parents house
truth_teller23 11
Is your fiancé a jokester?
sammyjanette 17
Don't get married. If he's feeling this way now just imagine how he'll feel 10 years and 2 kids in. It'll be even harder to let go then.
MsSoulReaper 27
If he didn't want to get married then why did he propose to OP? He must be having some serious second thoughts to do something that drastic.
aiko5500 8
Who said he proposed?
perdix 31
They have your fiancé, not your husband. Dumb criminals! Don't even know the proper terms for legal relationships.
perdix 31
If they are requiring a postponement for his release, what do you get if you up the ante and go for an outright cancellation? A mug, perhaps!
arsenicalhumor 30
Hopefully a "thank you" will come with that mug. or just does not suffice.
jerryj 27
Leave back a note saying: "I don't negotiate with terrorists".
junkman6 22
*"I don't negotiate with dumbasses"
NatalieOntheTram 11
Wow...that is incredibly immature; not to mention, unfunny. Confront him about it. If you can find him, that is.
mac8080 7
That's low
horneyhic 15
Sounds like bachelor party shenanigans. He called himself your husband so I wouldn't worry
WellThatSucked89 13
Its like The Office!
yerawizardlizzy 27
How exactly do you "not worry" about something like this?
deepvira 16
How can he be your husband? Fiancé right? :/