Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, after waiting 3 months until my friend's wedding was done being celebrated, I announced my engagement. My newlywed friend bitched me out for "stealing" all of the attention and being selfish. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Reminds me of the idiot who staged his own kidnapping to go out drinking with friends.
Zebediabolical 45
Oh those canny kidnappers. Forcing the hostage to write his own note!
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Comments (85)
storminmormin14 12
Ask for proof of life.
ohrlly7457 7
Take all his money and hire private investigators. Boom make him lose his money than dump his ass.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
I don't agree with what the husband did but "take all HIS money".. wtf?
abbey728 16
Pretend to be panicked over it.
liaRawr 9
Drunk
Liamc620 10
well at least you learn't hes an ass before you married him.
huss11 6
You're marrying an idiot
rsg0001 15
Take a hint and call the wedding off. You don't want to wake up twenty years from now with divorce papers taped to you head.
thesubbybubbies 9
You know you're clingy when you know what his spelling is like...
emeraldmaz 9
What on earth are you talking about? 1) It says absolutely nothing about spelling in the post. 2) If you've seen someone's handwriting regularly, it's pretty damn normal to be able to recognise it.
enix82 5
Someone doesn't have the balls to tell you they have cold feet.
azeran 1
So is he your husband or not, because you call him your husband and that has left me a bit confused.